Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 11 January 2016

image for Ted Cruz Changes His Name To "Air Force One"
Major Amos B. Hoople

BILLINGSGATE POST: "I will never have a plane with my name on it," said Ted Cruz in comparing himself to rival Don Trump; "unless I am elected president and change my name to Air Force One."

"EGAD FAP! KAFF KAFF!..WHEEEZ! GULP! GLUG GLUG!" Whenever there appears to be a comprehensive misunderstanding as to the intent of a politician, I always fall back to what Major Amos Barnaby Hoople once said when addressing a convention of tin horn cowboys who had been rode hard and put away wet the evening before:

"HAR-R-RUMF! SPUTT!* Would any of you imbeciles be interested if I could pull a few strings and get some chickadees to take the cold edge off your chisels this morning? KAFF-Kaff! WHEEEZ, GLUG-GLUG!"

*For an interpretation of this story, please refer to Being and Nothingness, an Ontology by Jean-Paul Sartre. It should explain everything you need to know about this story and its relationship to time and space.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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