The Schlongarian Candidate

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 22 December 2015

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The Schlongarian Candidate

BILLINGSGATE POST: Is Hillary Clinton the Schlongarian Candidate as Donald Trump asserts? What the majority of pinch-mouth prude journalists ascribe to as another vulgarity by Trump shows how deeply embedded the media is in PC journalism.

Inside the Beltway, there have always been rumors that Hillary wears the pants in her family. What better way to hide a schlong than by covering it with a pantsuit? When was the last time she was seen wearing a dress? She even wore a white pantsuit wedding dress. Her bridesmaids all wore matching pink OshKosh Overalls.

"What difference does it make," that the Donald told the roaring Grand Rapids crowd that Hillary got "schlonged" by President Obama during their 2008 Democratic primary race. "Schlong" is a well-known reference to a man's genitals. There are no alternative definitions for the word, according to Merriam-Webster.

Politically incorrect? Not necessarily so. What if Trump actually meant it as a compliment to Hillary? According to the Urban Dictionary, getting "schlonged" can mean a number of things, both literally and figuratively. Obviously, Trump didn't mean that Hillary and Obama had sexual relations during the campaign. That, however, doesn't preclude the figurative suggestion that Obama's schlong was bigger than hers. Under the circumstances, one must give the Trumpster the benefit of the doubt, as it appears that the latter explanation has more merit than the former.

Ipso facto: Hillary Rodham Clinton could very well be the Schhlongarian Candidate.

NOTE: If this story had appeared in the New York Times instead of the BILLINGSGATE POST, Michael Moore would be calling about movie rights instead of calling me names.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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