Written by Martin Jaeger

Thursday, 17 December 2015

Today, I had the honor of interviewing our magnificent Premier. He was in a jovial mood, as usual. The report from Ukraine was good; no more Russian deaths. No more Russian planes were blown up in Egypt. The Turks have not shot down any planes today.

I took this moment to begin my interview.

I asked him how many people he has killed in his lifetime, directly or indirectly.

" Danieliska," he said, "this Trump is somebody I could vote for if he were nominated by the Republicans."

"Yah," I said, somewhat puzzled. Then I remember the Premier has the ability to think on many levels, like playing multiple games of chess he did when he was a three year-old.

"Why is that so, Premier?" I asked.
The Premier was staring at a 40 watt bulb that was dangling from a wire from the ceiling. "Let me count the ways," he said.

"Yes, Premier," I said, "count away."

"He is already a great leader with insights far beyond his reach. I shoot people I don't like or deport them. That's expensive and bloody. He just builds walls and keeps them out. If he doesn't like the Muslims, he just keeps them out or bulldozes them into Mexico. It's so quick."

"Yes, Premier." I said. "There are things to learn from him."

"No fuss, or muss," Premier Putin said. "Ten-percent of our budget goes to coffins, alone. What a savings. I can learn from him."

"I bet you could," I agreed.

"And so humble. Polite. Beloved. He doesn't know a thing about foreign policy, but I could teach him how to subjugate people. I'm good at that."

"You are a good 'subjugator' Premier," I said, if I know what is good for me.

"I hope he invites me on his 'Apprentice' TV show." the Premier said.

".......whoops...." I said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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