Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 23 July 2015

image for Wile E. Coyote Teams Up With Sergeant Bilko, Major Amos Hoople and Milo Minderbinder To Fight ISIS

BILLINGSGATE POST: Outlined against a sand-swept landscape of broken down ACME anvils the Four Horsemen rode again. In the incomprehensible language of folklore they are known as famine, pestilence, destruction and death. These are only subtitles. Their real names are Coyote, Bilko, Hoople and Minderbinder. They formed the spearhead of a roiled cyclone before which only Navy SEAL Team Six provided destiny's final delivery of 72 virgins in a more formidable fashion. To the leagues of masked ISIS butchers who tested ACMES's two-legged delivery systems, the Four Horsemen were feared legends.

It was just a matter of time and gender elasticity before these warriors were brought together. Actually, it was Sergeant Ernest Bilko who first tested his idea on Army legend, Major Amos B. Hoople. Tired of being left out of hundreds of scams that made some soldiers millionaires, he suggested to Major Hoople that he and Lieutenant Milo Minderbinder (Catch 22) could collectively take over the economy of the Middle East if given the chance.

Responded Major Hoople:

"EGAD FAP! KAFF KAFF! WHEEZE..GULP..GLUG-GLUG! What a great plan! But only if my main man, Wile E. Coyote can be brought into the mix. You know he has the ACME Corporation contract that allows him 20% of any profit derived from ACME's exclusive weaponry agreement with the Defense Department. If we can fix it so ISIS defeats us in Iraq, Libya, Afghanistan and Syria, all of the ACME weapon systems will be discarded and we can sell them to Saudi Arabia for a nifty profit; and possibly make a side deal with ISIS to take over their oil fields and refineries before Israel even smells a rat."

Bilko...Yo! Count me in.
Coyote...You da man!
Minderbinder...Only if I get a side deal with Egypt
.

NOTE: They have a right to do anything we can't stop them from doing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
84 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more