President Obama stated today that he would engage the help of "all the Superfriends" to fight the growing threat from ISIL in the next few years.
"Yes, we'll have Superman, Batman and Robin, Wonderwoman, or Wonderperson appreciated regardless of sexual gender, as I like to call her, and that last guy, Superswimmer I think he is."
The President continued that although his 60 country coalition was "making great headway" in the fight against the rebel groups who may or may not be terrorists, we needed more firepower. After all, he said, "the King of Jordan is pretty tough but he can't fly or anything. The rest of those backwater sandhells are about a useful as a rubber crutch. I mean that in a good way, of course."
The President says he is sure that the Superfriends will be very useful in the fight against world extremism by "neutralizing the extremists, killing them, or maybe getting them jobs." He said that we can't rely on the Superfriends exclusively, and that the problem was far deeper than just horrible violence fueled by insane death seeking lunatics, although "that was really the pretty bad part."
Being careful to refer to the group as "ISIL" and not "ISIS," the President said that he had all hopes that, with the help of the Superfriends, eventually the whole world would refer to the group using the correct name.