Climate changing denier deny deniers

Written by Martin Jaeger

Saturday, 30 May 2015

In a startling turn about "Slick" Jim Mason, CEO of Exxon announced that he has seen the light and is reversing his opinion on climate change.

"I think," Mason said, "fossil fuels does cause global warmin' and climate change." Jim took off his cowboy hat, and seated top of his white horse named "Gusher," threw his Stetson to the crowded room at the Dallas Hilton where the annual stockholder's meeting was in progress.

"Our scientists have finally explained it to me. They said the globe is getting warmer. Well, I though that would cut our heating bill, but that aren't true completely. It raises our air conditioning bill."

"Slick" then dismounted and turned the reins of "Gusher" over to his attendant who led it off to the stables.

"And that photsynopsis stuff," he continued, "would be speeded up. I thought that might make some mighty big plants and help our agricultural business. But now I've seen the light."

Some one from the floor raised his hand and asked "Slick" a question.

"Is that going to affect profits, Slick?"

"Hell no," Slick said. "Maybe the other oil companies, but not us. Ya see, our scientists tell me that Chevron, and the other gasoline companies turn out fossil fuel, and they got to reduce their emissins and that will cost a bundle. But Exxon is okay."

"How's that," the puzzled stockholder said.

"We water our gas so that there's not as much fossil fuel in it." Slick smiled. "Thank God for them Texan scientists."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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