A Man Sacrificed his Head to Save his lit Cigarette from Raging Torrent

Written by kassax

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

A man on New York streets was spotted using his umbrella to shield his lit cigarette from the pouring heavy rain completely exposing his barely haired head. According to witnesses, the umbrella the man was carrying was too small that they suspect it was a cocktail umbrella that is often used to garnish and decorate cocktails drinks and other beverages.

One witness told this reporter that the man was caught between a hard place and rock.

"He was in a difficult place. He had to make a choice between covering his head or saving his lit cigarette. And like any adult he made a choice and faced the consequence of getting hammered by the merciless New York rain."

The witness further interjected that the cigarette might be his last one and he may have no money to buy another pack as per the laws of New York.

Experts of rare sightings such as this one believed the problem is better addressed by prohibiting the usage of cocktail umbrellas outside of bars and restaurants. One GOP hopeful, however, disagrees. He argues it is the excessive New York regulation on smoking that drives the man in to sacrificing his head for cigarette.

He reasoned if the man was living in Texas, where there is little regulation, this man wouldn't have to make this choice.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more