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Funny satire stories about Sen. Ted Cruz

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Senator Ted Cruz on what to do if you're in your home and find yourself murdered by police

In a television interview Sunday, Senator Ted Cruz offered the public some wise advice on how to react when you find yourself murdered in your own home by police.  Speaking about the recent fatal shooting of a black man in Dallas, the Senator astutel...

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President Trump Believed U.S. Was Launching Senator Ted Cruz Into Syria

Funny story: President Trump Believed U.S. Was Launching Senator Ted Cruz Into Syria

Washington, D.C. - According to leaked information from an anonymous source inside the White House, President Donald Trump approved yesterday's Tomahawk cruise missile strike against a Syrian airfield because Trump thought the U.S. would be launching...

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You Ted Cruz! You're Full Of Fareed Zakaria

Funny story: You Ted Cruz! You're Full Of Fareed Zakaria

Puffing through his foreign policy address, while holding onto the podium with one hand, Donald Trump appeared to wheeze out his declaration that Hillary Clinton did not have the stamina or temperament to be president. Shifting hands, one always g...

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Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Funny story: Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...

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Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Funny story: Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.

Following his decisive loss to Republican frontrunner Donald Trump, Senator Ted Cruz has officially announced that he will be suspending his 2016 Presidential Campaign. Stating that "There is no longer a decisive path to victory," he made the announc...

Read full story View 'Ted Cruz suspends presidential campaign, then names his entire cabinet selection anyway.'

Canadian Ted Cruz Called Lucifer In The Flesh

Funny story: Canadian Ted Cruz Called Lucifer In The Flesh

While the last best hope of stopping Donald Trump's run for the White House was defined as "Lucifer in the flesh," by former House Majority leader John Boehner, Mr. Boehner added, (as though calling him 'Lucifer in the flesh' wasn't bad enough) "He'...

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It's Trump's Charisma, Stupid

Funny story: It's Trump's Charisma, Stupid

Yes, it's his charisma! Donald Trump has charisma. At the last debate, Donald Trump stood masterfully like an elephant between a Chihuahua and the Canadian Mr. Sleaze. Editor's note: Isn't Canadian Mr. Sleaze an oxymoron? Looks more like an ep...

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Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Funny story: Pope: Ted Cruz Authorized To Perform Exorcisms

Senator Ted Cruz has mockingly been called The Executor, The Inquisitor, as well as The Prosecutor, but Pope Francis revealed that one of Cruz's true titles may be Exorcist - or maybe The Exorcisor in keeping with the spirit of his past nicknames.

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Who's Afraid Of Donald Trump?

Funny story: Who's Afraid Of Donald Trump?

Who's afraid of Donald Trump? Seems like most of the folks in the Republican party. He recently was overheard to have said that Osama bin Laden was still alive and that he spoke to him. Not dead! But Seal Team 6 finished him off and there was a...

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Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Funny story: Ted Cruz: "Call Me Tatyana"

Odessa Tx:Sen Ted Cruz(R)TX has a secret, and he is about to expose it in an upcoming issue of "Horse and Hound" magazine. Cruz has been busy doing a cover shoot for the equestrian inclined mag since April. "I'm sooooo excited about this cover...

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Jesus Christ Wants U.S. To Deport The Undocumented

Funny story: Jesus Christ Wants U.S. To Deport The Undocumented

Senator Ted Crap (R-TX) this week has called President Obama a "dictator" and GOP House Speaker Boner termed him an "emperor" over his executive order to shield 4 million undocumented immigrants from deportation. Senator Crap said that Obama is "J...

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Ted Cruz Turns To Words Of Og The Caveman In Denouncing Immigration Plan

WASHINGTON D.C. -- Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz turned to the ancient words of Og the Cro-Magnon Thursday on the Senate floor to denounce President Obama's planned actions that are expected to grant legal status to millions of illegal immigrants in...

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Ted Cruz Nude Pics Crash Internet

Funny story: Ted Cruz Nude Pics Crash Internet

Internet providers scambled on Monday to get their servers back on line after nude photos of Sen. Ted Cruz were posted on line by a Hollywood Gossip site. The photos (so graphic that they caused projectile vomiting by some internet users) where...

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Senate Passes Deportation Bill to Fast-Track Ted Cruz's Return to Canada

Funny story: Senate Passes Deportation Bill to Fast-Track Ted Cruz's Return to Canada

WASHINGTON-The Senate, before leaving on its month-long vacation on Thursday, passed a bill in the early morning hours to fast-track the deportation of Ted Cruz back to his native country of Canada. The vote on the Bill, which was, as usual, expe...

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Weekly Reader Censored For Fort Hood Analysis

Funny story: Weekly Reader Censored For Fort Hood Analysis

Super School Events is a publication known to millions of U.S. school kids in grades 6-10. Pre-teen student reporters write it. But it is being banned in schools across the U.S. because of its content and analysis of the tragedy of the shootings...

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Al Gore Was Right

Funny story: Al Gore Was Right

Speaking of extremely frigid temperatures this winter and early spring, in certain parts of the U.S., Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) said, "It's cold. Al Gore told me this wouldn't Happen. Global warming obviously is a farce." Senator Cruz said this to...

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Bob Schieffer Interviews Ted Cruz's Ass

Funny story: Bob Schieffer Interviews Ted Cruz's Ass

Bob Schieffer, on Face the Nation, interviewed Texas Senator Ted Cruz's ass on Sunday. When asked about the government shutdown last fall, Cruz's ass said: "Throughout the government shutdown, I opposed a government shutdown. I said we shouldn't s...

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Startling New Definitions In Dictionary Update

Funny story: Startling New Definitions In Dictionary Update

The Oxford English Dictionary online has been updated to include some "Americanisms." Last year the quarterly publications included new words or terms such as "Selfing" and "OMG,." as in "OMG, I Am, Like, Literally Unfriending You." The new online update includes: Bullshit. n, adj. A term associated with such politicians as Sen. Ted Cruz of the state of Texas, who was both a brilliant und...

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Breaking news…

Trump Now Also President of Egypt

President Donald Trump now claims to be part Egyptian after a new mummy was uncovered. Noted the President, "Look! It's old, wrinkly, shriveled, and orange! Just like me!"
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