WASHINGTON D.C. - President Obama spoke to his advisers about a new plan to import deadly communicable diseases.
"We can import people with highly contagious, deadly diseases to reduce the population of America to improve the economy" he said.
His new plan will have ambassadors scour various third world countries for the most rapidly spreading, deadly diseases which cannot be easily brought under control in those countries. He will then give them all tickets to come to the U.S. He will then give them full U.S. citizenship provided they spread the diseases to as many people as possible before they are hospitalized. If they survive, they get to be U.S. citizens for life.
President Obama has come under attack from conservatives for the idea. John Boehner had this to say.
"This Muslim from Kenya is out to destroy our country! Everything he does destroys America more and more. He was not prepared for this job and should never have been elected. The Electoral College should have weeded him out. We should have moved more quickly to impeach Obama before these commie Muslim socialist African Ebola carriers came across our borders. It's time to seal our borders now before anymore illegal immigrants with deadly diseases can invade the borders of the U.S. We'll try him as a traitor!"
It is rumored that House Republicans have already started building a gallows outside the White House for President Obama's execution. One Republican was overheard saying, "He's trying to kill all of us. We'll kill him first."