Deadly Virus Now In White House & Congress

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 26 September 2014

image for Deadly Virus Now In White House & Congress

During the Vietnam War era hundreds of thousands of American lives were destroyed and crippled and the treasury drained. It was a huge folly, a war the U.S. lost. After the war, Americans who were less than willing to once again fight useless wars were. Suffering from, it was said was"Vietnam syndrome." After the U.S. disaster in Iraq some commentators said that the public was suffering from "Iraqi Syndrome" when it was sick and tired of war.

But now, it turns out, that politicians in Washington have suffered from something called "Crackpot Aggression Disorder."

"It is a syndrome that makes elected representatives incapable of imagining any other path of solutions to problems other than military intervention, and then escalation in the face of disaster, certain defeat," said Dr. William Hassel who headed a team of researchers at Harvard University's School of Medicine.

"The madness lingers in Washington even though the U.S. has not won a real shooting war since 1945," said Dr. Hassel.

Hassel pointed out that Crackpot Aggression Disorder is caused by a virus that might possibly have been placed in the halls of congress and the white house during the Cold War by the KGB. "We're trying to isolate it now and determine its origins," said the Harvard scholar
Hassel said, "Now, we've entered the period when rationality falls away, and our leaders feel strangely helpless before the of failure in the Middle east to nation-build and so now comes the unbearable urge for further escalation."

"The whole place is a madhouse where our allies have been the drug dealer Karzai in Afghanistan; Nouri al-Maliki in Iraq, whose policies have destroyed the country and who turned against the U.S.. Finally, our real allies against ISIS now are the dictator Assad, who gasses his people in Syria, and our new pals the 'enemy' for years, the despotic Iran," said Dr. Eric Fromm, Dr. Hassel's fellow team member.

"But the madness of Crackpot Aggression Disorder attracts the Washington politicians to war in such to insane places as the Middle East where cobbled together governments are actually factions of clans, tribes, religious sects who kill one another, like the demented religious crazies in ISIS. " said Hassel.

Dr. Fromm concluded, "Madness attracts madness. We've got to find this long-lived virus that infects congress and the white house and eradicate it before American domestic programs, agencies ant the infrastructure CAMBRIDGE NEWS POST are totally starved while money is poured into the coffers of the Pentagon."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more