Let's face it, you can catch a cold or flu from a stranger's sneeze on a bus and you can get food poisoning in a dodgy restaurant. You can't catch them from a toilet seat, but there's real pleasure involved in catching STIs. Admit it. Ladies, you love your pork sausage and gentlemen, you love to wield that sausage. Sometimes you can both get so carried away that you just have to do it regardles...
Earlier today, St. Jude Children’s Hospital confirmed that they will be debuting their much anticipated “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”. Children under the age of sixteen are encouraged to sign up prior to the December 1st deadline, so long as they are...
Smallpox. Along with cholera, rickets and other indignities, it was once considered a rite of passage for many humans to suffer this killer disease with its 30 per cent death rate and legacy of pock marked faces for survivors. Those were the days. Days to which anti-vaccine fundamentalists want to take us back. Many of them are fans of discredited and struck-off British doctor Andrew Wakefiel...
Hundreds of Millions of people around the globe have a new modern illness called Diminished Intellectual Capacity and Knowledge Starvation or DICKS for short. Tweetism, however seems to be the popular handle for the newly named illness, and as the na...
At the start of 2016, long-time cohorts Cold and Fever exchanged solemn New Year's resolutions to lose weight and gain weight, respectively. Cold admitted to having really packed on the pounds in recent decades. He pointed to the oft-touted home r...
Stunned PM David Cameron has denied prior knowledge that side kick George Osborne is a long term victim of Night of the Living Dead Syndrome In an emotional press conference held this afternoon, the PM rushed to calm fears that the zombie Chancellor...
During the Vietnam War era hundreds of thousands of American lives were destroyed and crippled and the treasury drained. It was a huge folly, a war the U.S. lost. After the war, Americans who were less than willing to once again fight useless wars w...
After decades of not giving a shit, the American public has finally decided to pretend to care about the crippling disease ALS by pouring icy-cold water over their faces. While most can easily wipe off their wet grins, ALS stricken teen Oliver Perry...
A British man who contracted Ebola while on a pirates holiday in sierra Leone has recovered from his coma after twenty eight days. Alfred Smith a retired bus conductor said he feels fine after his month of unconsciousness although not technically a m...
HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
Austin, TX - Many Americans agree with the president that we should not make it harder for the 'best and brightest' to come live in our country. However, most Americans would like to send President Obama a dictionary so he can look up what 'best...
"You need to always treat your kids special as one day they could be in charge of you and decide where they put you to get you out of your (their) house." That's what the guy told us at a company meeting. So I ran home and bought my kids an ant fa...
A car dealership in Maryville, Tennessee is suing a rival car dealer for $500,000 in lost income and auto damage as well as causing the workers there to risk their lives by working and the clean-up details. Hardin's GMC and Hyundai Auto Dealership...
On Today's Meet The Press there was a discussion of why Pope Francis was chosen to be Time magazine's Man of the Year and appear on its cover. Host David Gregory stated that Time had also considered Edward Snowden, who worked for a company that was...
DISNEYWORLD, FL - Now that obesity has been declared a disease, Disney World is reopening its Habit heroes exhibit. The "innovention" was closed down, supposedly for "repairs," after parents and educators alike condemned the attraction for "shaming"...
Moustaches suspected of being infected with the killer tash die-back fungus have been found in privately owned facial hair in many parts of Norfolk, Scotland and Wales. The potential that outbreaks of the fungus have been found in home-grown moust...
Further deaths from an outbreak of Rionnaires' disease are highly likely, doctors warned yesterday. The recent outbreak is centred on Heathrow, and the number of confirmed cases rose to 157 (although some have been lost). And there are still thous...
A man in Spain is receiving treatment in hospital after an angry mob of Cucumber farmers descended on his home and forced him to move out of the village. Local Farmers accuse Hector Julio Fernandez of contaminating their cucumber stock with e-coli...
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