Welcome back to our 'Beginners Guide..' series. Nine years has passed since our last edition was published, and with all that has gone on in the world, it seems well overdue to add to that legacy. So, how are you? How have you been? I would guess,…
Coronavirus bosses are currently working on 6 new strains of the virus but are hopeful, with careful testing, that one of them could be ready in the new year. The strains, currently being worked on by Covid-19, could be in the wider population as…
With more and more cases of COVID-19 being diagnosed throughout the United States, a new pandemic has unexpectedly surpassed even the coronavirus crisis, with Americans everywhere reporting skyrocketing rates of hypochondria. Having noticed that h...
OSLO, Norway - A company that deals in disease testing has come up with a test that has proven to be 89.7% effective in testing for the C-19 virus strain. Dr. Bjorn Thor Steinfest, who has been with the company for 47 years, said that the testing...
Authorities in Beijing have said that the Chinese germ warfare program, one result of which has been the Coronavirus outbreak in the city of Wuhan, is coming along nicely, thank you. Details of the program are sketchy, but one of the agents being...
Let's face it, you can catch a cold or flu from a stranger's sneeze on a bus and you can get food poisoning in a dodgy restaurant. You can't catch them from a toilet seat, but there's real pleasure involved in catching STIs. Admit it. Ladies, you love your pork sausage and gentlemen, you love to wield that sausage. Sometimes you can both get so carried away that you just have to do it regardles...
Earlier today, St. Jude Children’s Hospital confirmed that they will be debuting their much anticipated “Little Miss Cancer Pageant”. Children under the age of sixteen are encouraged to sign up prior to the December 1st deadline, so long as they are...
Smallpox. Along with cholera, rickets and other indignities, it was once considered a rite of passage for many humans to suffer this killer disease with its 30 per cent death rate and legacy of pock marked faces for survivors. Those were the days. Days to which anti-vaccine fundamentalists want to take us back. Many of them are fans of discredited and struck-off British doctor Andrew Wakefiel...
Hundreds of Millions of people around the globe have a new modern illness called Diminished Intellectual Capacity and Knowledge Starvation or DICKS for short. Tweetism, however seems to be the popular handle for the newly named illness, and as the na...
At the start of 2016, long-time cohorts Cold and Fever exchanged solemn New Year's resolutions to lose weight and gain weight, respectively. Cold admitted to having really packed on the pounds in recent decades. He pointed to the oft-touted home r...
Stunned PM David Cameron has denied prior knowledge that side kick George Osborne is a long term victim of Night of the Living Dead Syndrome In an emotional press conference held this afternoon, the PM rushed to calm fears that the zombie Chancellor...
During the Vietnam War era hundreds of thousands of American lives were destroyed and crippled and the treasury drained. It was a huge folly, a war the U.S. lost. After the war, Americans who were less than willing to once again fight useless wars w...
After decades of not giving a shit, the American public has finally decided to pretend to care about the crippling disease ALS by pouring icy-cold water over their faces. While most can easily wipe off their wet grins, ALS stricken teen Oliver Perry...
A British man who contracted Ebola while on a pirates holiday in sierra Leone has recovered from his coma after twenty eight days. Alfred Smith a retired bus conductor said he feels fine after his month of unconsciousness although not technically a m...
HARFOLD, Vt - A new study at Harfold State College suggests that exposure to hydrogen sulfide gas, that is, what your body produces as bacteria breaks down food, could prevent mitochondria damage. This is good news for the Miss Harfold Diner which...
Austin, TX - Many Americans agree with the president that we should not make it harder for the 'best and brightest' to come live in our country. However, most Americans would like to send President Obama a dictionary so he can look up what 'best...
"You need to always treat your kids special as one day they could be in charge of you and decide where they put you to get you out of your (their) house." That's what the guy told us at a company meeting. So I ran home and bought my kids an ant fa...
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