An angry President Barack Obama strode to the podium in the Rose Garden this morning and immediately lashed out at the GOP.
"This latest attack by the Republicans in Congress has finally gone beyond the pail. ISSIS is not thin by any means and the GOP knows it! We will destroy them as we destroyed Bin Laden and if they have any recollection whatsoever, they know I gave the orders to hunt him down and kill him."
The President looked intently at the assembled journalists and continued: "To this end I have dispatched a Special Forces unit to Syria and appointed Senator John McCain to lead the expedition. Once again, America can depends, whoops, sorry, depend on John McCain!
This IS NOT the time for frivolous actions and silly word games. My instructions to these brave men is to seek out those members of ISSIS that are US citizens, to kill these traitors and," he paused for dramatic effect and finished, "DO NOT shoot until you see the whites of their ISSIS!"