ISIS Claims Beheading Less Painful Than Waterboarding

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 23 September 2014

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the titular head of the Islamic terrorist group called ISIS, downplayed the horrific nature of beheading by comparing it to "waterboarding."

Al-Baghdadi, who by the way, is not related to Baghdadi Bob or Big Daddy Lipscomb, posted a measured response this morning after his office was hit by a Tomahawk missile yesterday evening:

"What's with my brother Barack? One day he be talking out of one side of his mouth, the next day, the other. How about the Atlanta Braves and the Tomahawk chop? Liberals be smacking them for dissing the Native Americans. Next thing you know, Obama rains those Tomahawks down on us like we had no mother. And what about the Redskins? Washington has bigger problems than us."

"And tell your president to stop bombing us if he knows what's good for him. With Allah as my witness, I can prove he was born in Kenya and is a card-carrying Muslim. Ain't no 72 virgins waiting for him, brother."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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