US Department of Applied Phobias Releases New List

Written by Frank Michaels

Thursday, 11 September 2014

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Human Being Purposely Posed as Politically Phobic

The US Department of Applied Phobias (USDAP) has just released a new list of phobias to be applied to political opponents of the current administration. This list was created in order to head off what looks to be a major collapse of the Democrat Party in the upcoming November elections.

Carlston Peel, insecure undersecretary spoke to STT News on the subject and the new list.

There has to be tags to stereotype millions of complete strangers because if we don't, they appear to be human beings just like everyone else."

The upcoming list includes, but is not limited to:
Managementphobia - Those who oppose the Bureau of Land Management seizing control of private lands.
Holderphobia - People who have taken Eric Holder's own words of first and foremeost being a political activist, seriously.
Liberalphobia - This covers anyone who dares to be anything BUT a liberal, Obama supporter.
Obamacarephobia - Self-descriptive of anyone who doesn't like paying more and getting less in healthcare.

Peel went on to state that the USDAP is still quite busy with inventing new phobias for the 2016 election. Among those being considered are:
Illegal Immigrant Phobia - Fearing people who break our immigration laws as their first action upon arrival here.
Pay-to-vote Phobia - A general fear of California's plan to hand out lottery tickets at polling booths as a means of drawing preferred voters.

"These are still in the henhouse, so to speak." Carlston Peel explained.
"By the time we get to 2016, there's no telling what stereotyping will be required."

STT News will be following the progress of the USDAP's work.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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