Joe Biden: Obummercare enrollments may miss mark set by administration

Written by Gee Pee

Friday, 21 February 2014

WHITEWASHNTON, D. C. - On a tour of Starbucks coffeehouses, Joe Biden, President of Vice under Barack Obummer, did something that politicians, especially of his party, seldom, if ever, do: he told the truth.

Specifically, he admitted that, despite the Obummer administration's wild predictions of seven million enrollments in Obummercare, "the actual total looks as though it's going to be closer to eight or nine."

"Eight or nine million?" a stunned cappuccino drinker asked. "That's amazing!"

"We forgive you for the disastrous roll out of the plan," a caffe mocha addict gushed.

"No, not eight or nine million," Biden corrected his party's constituents. "Eight," he said, "or nine. Period."

"Period?" Mr. Cappuccino repeated. "You mean, as in 'if-you-like-your-healthcare-provider,-you-can-keep-your-healthcare-provider' period?"

"As in 'if-you-like-your-doctor-, you-can-keep-your-doctor' period?" Ms. Mocha demanded.

Looking sheepish, the President of Vice shook his head. "No, as in period, period, as in really and truly period," he told them.

"How the hell did that happen?" Ms. Mocha blurted, spewing her caffeinated beverage all over the lapels of Biden's thousand-dollar empty suit.

"Hey! It's a start," Biden declared.

"Yeah, a hell of a start!" Mr. Cappuccino said.

"Well, the president has until the end of March, anyway, right?" Ms. Mocha asked.

"Uh," the President of Vice croaked.

"No?" Mr. Cappuccino asked, aghast. "That's wrong, too?"

"The drop-dead date for enrollments is the beginning of March," Biden admitted.

"We're not going to make it, are we?" Mr. Cappuccino predicted.

"No, but the president can always extend the deadline," Biden offered, "the same way he's revised other key provisions of the law without Congressional action."

"But the midterm elections are coming; there will be hell to pay for his unilateral and imperialistic runs-around Congress," Mr. cappuccino predicted.

"Say, Mr. Vice President, you don't look too well," Ms. Mocha observed. "Have you signed up for Obummercare?"

"I'd rather die," Biden said.

"Let me buy you a drink," Mr. Cappuccino offered. "What will you have?"

"Irish coffee. Make it a double!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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