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Funny satire stories about Coffee

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Funny story: Starbucks Baristas Look Down on Frappuccino Customers

Starbucks Baristas Look Down on Frappuccino Customers

Even as the Frappuccino has become one of Starbucks most popular and profitable menu items, many Starbucks baristas admit that they secretly look down on the customers who order the sweet, cold and creamy coffee concoction. “No class,” said Baltim...

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Funny story: Coffee Objects to Perpetually Being Grabbed

Coffee Objects to Perpetually Being Grabbed

No longer willing to passively tolerate a modern-day society in which “grabbing” it is the accepted norm, coffee has finally spoken out. “I’m steamed!” said coffee spokesman Joe Cuppa, his indignation clearly at a boiling point. “I am not meant to...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Blows a Gasket

Nashville Man Blows a Gasket

28-year-old Justin Drake of Nashville, Tennessee, recently blew a gasket when his girlfriend, Cara Shiley, yet again expected him to foot the bill – this time for her fancy coffee drink. “I lost my shit," acknowledged Justin, “It wasn't pretty.”...

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Funny story: Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere

Dissatisfied Coffee Shop Customer Decides to Take His Business Elsewhere

Dissatisfied with the wait-time for a cup of coffee to go at his (formerly) regular neighborhood coffee shop, Bean Stop, New York City resident Dan Foley recently decided to take his business elsewhere. “There were three people in line ahead of me...

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Funny story: New Gambit Shatters National Coffee Bragging Impasse

New Gambit Shatters National Coffee Bragging Impasse

All self-styled coffee aficionados know that, in recent times, it has become virtually impossible to achieve a clear win in a coffee bragging dialogue (CBD). Every connoisseur worthy of challenge owns a sophisticated coffee machine, and, with hundreds of coffees from which to choose, anybody can enthuse about a type of which his or her opponent is unaware - naturally adding the denouement: "I'm...

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Funny story: Coffee tinkerer fails to find perfect cup of coffee

Coffee tinkerer fails to find perfect cup of coffee

Jack Dolan of Morrisville was determined this past Monday morning to finally reach is unattained goal of perfecting his morning coffee. With the same determination he has carried every working day for the past 23 years Jack headed to the local conve...

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Funny story: Man buys coffee too large to carry

Man buys coffee too large to carry

Herb Pencock, of Morrisville Pa., strolled into a local 7- 11 on Tuesday morning and demanded a 7-gallon cup of coffee saying "I need to wake up, I'm dragging" After waiting several minutes as the staff poured all available coffee into an u...

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Funny story: Consumer Review - Starbucks vs Dunkin Donuts

Consumer Review - Starbucks vs Dunkin Donuts

Boston MA - Let's be honest, we have all had the opportunity of visiting each of these food service chains at least once. It wouldn't even be out of the realm of possibility that you have hit them both in the same day. I definitely prefer one over...

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Funny story: Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee

Horror: Man Puts Two Sugars In Wife's Coffee

A sussex man was in shock last night after admitting to police that he had put two sugars in his wife's coffee. The unnamed man, Brian Talbot (53), told officers the incident occurred at around half past nine, when his wife Vera asked him to be a...

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Funny story: Starbucks Baristas Study; Customers Squawk

Starbucks Baristas Study; Customers Squawk

Lots of kudos for Starbucks when it was announced that the company was initiating a program to pay college tuition for its baristas. No applause from the customers though. Baristas are so wrapped up in their studies, the level of service has dec...

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Funny story: Loner offended by new Starbucks promotion

Loner offended by new Starbucks promotion

LAMETOWN, Pa. - James Shaverford, 28, was on Twitter this morning when he saw an offensive promoted tweet from Starbucks appear on his timeline. The promotion said, "Buy any holiday drink & get one free for a friend." Shaverford, being a lone...

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Funny story: Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Husband Like A Wild Animal in Bed!

Esther Montgomery Mellencamp says that her husband, Homer Cougar Mellencamp is a wild animal in bed at night. She told The Georgia Dudley Tribune, a small newspaper in a small town, that she didn't mind telling this to us by phone as all their nei...

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Funny story: Joe Biden: Obummercare enrollments may miss mark set by administration

Joe Biden: Obummercare enrollments may miss mark set by administration

WHITEWASHNTON, D. C. - On a tour of Starbucks coffeehouses, Joe Biden, President of Vice under Barack Obummer, did something that politicians, especially of his party, seldom, if ever, do: he told the truth. Specifically, he admitted that, des...

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Funny story: Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

Awkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand

VANCOUVER, WA-What was supposed to be a simple coffee purchase turned in to a critical moment in the career of George Blankenship, associate professor of English at Washington State University Vancouver as he exchanged glances with one of his Feminis...

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Funny story: Elephant Saunters into NY Starbucks

Elephant Saunters into NY Starbucks

What for, you ask? To buy his morning coffee, of course. On a break from a nearby zoo, the elephant munched peanuts and chatted with startled customers as he waited for his order, two dozen Skinny Mochas. He said he was watching his weight; s...

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Funny story: Starbucks Makes Public Statement Guns Not Welcome But Not Outright Banned

Starbucks Makes Public Statement Guns Not Welcome But Not Outright Banned

Starbucks public spokesman Anselmo Java recently made a statement to the press regarding the company's stance regarding possession of firearms in any of their establishments. "The only shots we want to hear being fired off in our stores are shots...

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Funny story: President Obama Wants To Do Away With The Penny

President Obama Wants To Do Away With The Penny

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama, 51, has advised Congress that he wants them to put getting rid of the United States penny on the frontburner. The president speaking to a group of unemployed windshield wiper auto workers visiting the White Hous...

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