London - "Expect an astrological tsunami to sweep the nation," London skywatchers said today ahead of Friday's Moon/Uranus conjunction of sudden, shocking events.
The aspect marks the 66th anniversary of Hitler's wedding to Eva Braun in a marriage lasting barely hours before its climax in the pair's suicide.
The same planetary configuration now sits squarely on William's own natal chart - slap bang in the middle of the House of Windsor's celestial Ring of Fire.
"Think of Buckingham Palace as the zodiac's Fukushima Reactor Complex," a stargazer to the Fraud Squad explained.
"It's been ready to blow for decades, patched up with sticking plaster like Camilla Fucker-Proles and minor royal nonentities Princess Beatrice and Eugenie.
"Shame about all that bunting, though, folks could cringe for decades to come."
Jeffrey Epstein is 69.