Manchester United is world's stupidest club says High-IQ Society

Written by Coops

Thursday, 22 April 2010

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United's new boots...slip ons are easier.

Manchester United is still the most stupid football club in the world, according to the world's leading high IQ society.

The Premier League title holders, who came second in a list compiled by the Education Secretary in February, again topped the table ahead of Real Madrid.

It is estimated that United players have an average IQ of 43, Real at 45, and Arsenal, in third, at 48. It uses IQ data based on ability to tie boot laces, traffic awareness and 3x tables.

Barcelona is fourth in the 20-team list which includes six clubs from the Premier League plus Newcastle United who have been particularly thick this season.

Liverpool, Chelsea and AC Milan all made the top 10, but the trio's IQ had each risen by 19% in the 2008/09 season according to the calculations.

Juventus and Olympic Marseille had the two biggest decreases in IQ - each losing 9% on the previous year. Increasing personal tutoring meant "the news continues to be good for dumb idiots" said Eduardo Sticklebrick, National Manager at the high IQ society.

However the average intelligence of the clubs in the list fell 8.5%.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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