Hairbrush Dave has stolen a Susan Boyle song and made it his own. My number one priority is number one he smirked. My number two, three, four ad infinitum priorities are number one. It's all about me, this is who I was born to be he scowled.
Susan Boyle and I are nothing like each other but we are both nearing our goals. I'm going to be the numero uno, the PM. She's going to be numero uno, if my new CD single, "Gordon is a Moron" doesn't get there first. Which it will when all my Little Englander friends buy it. Having the England World Cup Squad as a backing group will do the business.
I was born with a silver spoon, she got the booby prize. My Facebook is huge, full of beautiful people, like me. She's got muppets, numpties and assorted fanatics on hers.
It's a pity she is Scottish and I can't understand a word she says. Gordie does help me, by translating,when we take tea at the House. It's the only thing we have in common (well, he's common as muck, I'm a hoity toity, hooray Henry from Eton) we love Susan Boyle.
We love to do a few choruses of our girl's songs. I do I dreamed a dream and he bursts into tears everytime. Life has killed the dream I dreamed he always cries, like a big girl. You'll see, I taunt him,
Must hurry to recruit her. All that money she has hanging about. I can use it to get me elected PM.