After much press speculation over Susan Boyle's new house, it was finally revealed last night that she has bought Buckingham Palace.
Removal vans were seen outside Buck House last night, and it is expected that the Queen will be moving out soon.
SuBo's current modest Council House will be bought by the Clappy Twins and turned into an 'emergency blessings drop-in centre'.
Grinning widely, SuBo beamed "I've always fancied a house in London, and there's no better than this one! I'm sure the Queen will find a nice house somewhere!"
Fanatics were, as always, suitably confused.
"Does this mean she'll be the Queen now? Do we have to call her Queen Susan instead of 'Lady' Susan?" said some self-important fanatic holding a cat.
"Yeehaa! I do declare that is ol' cowboy down this ol' trail does approve! Queen Susan, yeehaa!" rambled some fanatic in a fake Wild West accent.
"I will consult my copy of 'Monarch of the Glen' to see what we should call her now!" enthused a fanatic while trying to sell this reporter some over-priced doodle or other.
"We will, of course, start selling Buckingham Palace models in our Tacky Gift Shop! Our membership is down to 5 fanatics and a goat, so we need a way to make some money!" said the chief fanatic.
