Did she really say that?

Written by Nae mair crap

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

image for Did she really say that?
what did she say?

A US national went on trial at Edinburgh Sheriff Court today charged with actual bodily harm, causing psychological distress and being off her rocker.

The accused, who cannot be named for reasons of national security, was incoherent and unable to plead on her own behalf. The solicitor, appointed by the Court to represent the accused, pled Guilty but with the qualification that the accused was not in full possession of her faculties.

Opening for the prosecution, Mr Hang Em Hi of the Procurator Fiscal's office read a brief account of the incident in the Grassmarket, Edinburgh. He told the court that the accused , while in a state of euphoria had run up behind her idol, the singer Miss Susan Boyle, wrapped her arms round Miss Boyle and cried "I touched her, I touched her". Miss Boyle is reported to have cried out, "oh no that feckin' woman from New York again?"

Mr Hang Em advised the court that the accused was apprehended by a member of Miss Boyle's Samurai guard and handed over to Inspector Rebus of Lothian and Borders Police.

The trial was brought to a halt when the accused began to whimper and cry. " I love my Lady Susan, she's all I think about. I remortgaged my house to come to travel to Japan and on to Scotland."

Nutter said the Sheriff as he suspended the trial.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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