Susan Boyle fans, in the UK, are shaking their heads in disbelief at the reaction of some fanatics to the news that Miss Boyle is to receive an MBE in the Queen's Birthday Honours List.
UK fans have tried, again and again, to convince some people that Miss Boyle cannot be made a Lady. With no success as some fanatics refuse to believe them. These fanatics are also unable to grasp the concept of HRH having two birthdays.
A contest, on what they tell the world is the biggest Susan Boyle fan club, had to be closed when the site Admin discovered that tickets would not be available for the investiture at Buckingham Place.
Fanatics had already begun to organise their meet and greet in London but have also cancelled this. As they are also banned from Blackburn, West Lothian, Miss Boyles home town, they are all set to hire helicopters for trips over Buckingham Palace. The Met, the CIA and Interpol are sharing intelligence on the "red menace"
The PM, Gordon Brown and the US President have held secret meetings to develop a strategy to combat the perceived threat to the sanity of UK residents from an influx of the "red devils"
UK authorities are mindful of the riots caused by "13 red menaces" at a recent concert by Miss Boyle in Tokyo, Japan. All upcoming UK appearances by Miss Boyle will be tightly monitored. A UK passport will be required before a ticket is issued. The passport Agency reports a massive increase of applications from North America supported by false birth certificates provided by Mossad. Some UK residents may also be implicated in this deception.
Several highly placed fanclub fanatics have been identified as posing the greatest threat. They are widely known as Happy and Clappy and seem oblivious to any form of censure.
It is believed that their addiction to Miss Boyle and some other higher being is surpassed only by their need to amass a small fortune, by any means. They have been banned from the UK but it is expected that they will try to enter the country in disguise. Ports and airports will remain on high alert for the remainder of the Spotting Susan Season.
Congratulations may be premature but bloody fantastic Susan.
