Inbred Mutant Hoody Zombie Teen Stalk 'N' Slash Massacre - Part ner ner ner 19

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Friday, 13 November 2009


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Silver Lining To Follow In Episode 20

"Hold it right there!" the skinny guy in the bad suit shouts.

He's stood behind a goggle eyed woman, one hand clamped over her mouth, the other holding a knife to her throat.

"You take one step...just one step and she's history. I mean it."

The woman squeals.

Buck, Abel Zorro and Nick exchange furtive glances.

Abel Zorro steps forward, AK in one hand, sabre in the other. His eyes narrow, a bit like Clint Eastwood in 'Dirty Harry'

"I've got your number asshole," he says. "You harm one hair on that woman's head and I swear to God I will blow you into total oblivion. You will never know what hit you. You are one dead ladies pee out of."

"Hah!" snorts the dastardly one. "You frickers don't scare me! You're surrounded by inbred mutant hoody zombies who serve my every whim."

The woman squeals again.

The dastardly one tightens his grip on her mouth, presses the knife blade closer to her throat.

"I'll hurt her," he says. "I'm good at hurting women. Providing they don't fight back. You see, I'm a control freak. I like to be in control. Like I'm in control of this situation right now. I'm controlling all of you..."

"Why you bony assed piece of shit..." Buck starts.

"Wait Buck," Abel Zorro says calmly. "Hold your fire. I've got this motherfucker's number..."

Nick aims the .357 Magnum squarely at the dastardly one's face. He doesn't waver.

"You think you got my number you Texas shitkicker? You got nothing..."

"You once asked me to keep something warm for you Deano," Abel says calmly. "Got myself an AK 47 here. That warm enough for you?"

"Fuck you," the dastardly one hisses.

The woman squirms.

"C'mon Deano. Bring it on. Just you and me, mano a mano."

"I don't do that," the dastardly one says. "I only hurt vulnerable women. I don't fight guys..."

"Because guys hit back. Right?" Buck proposes.

"Yeah. Maybe. Something like that..."

"Are we gonna do this thing Deano? Or do we call time out for a fucking KFC?" Abel Zorro says.

"Go get him Abel Zorro," Fran says. She's almost wrapped around him, pert breasts pressed in real tight and crotch grinding against Abel Zorro's thigh.

"Fran, Fran...would you please stop doing that?" Abel Zorro sighs. "It's very nice and all but I'm a respectable married man with a family. Also, I'm kind of getting to like it. It's very flattering."

"Yeah whatever," Lola sneers. "You might have the tits and the ass but you ain't got the lips..."

"Can we talk about this?" Buck asks.

"Oh yeah," Lola says. "I can move my mouth real good but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm talking..."

"Sounds good to me," Buck says.

"What the hell is going on here?" the dastardly one blurts.

His hostage squirms and finally manages to free herself from his dastardly grip. She wheels sideways and hits the floor.

Exposed, caught out, and basically fucked, the dastardly one stands exposed.


Then like a true coward he exits stage left before the others can react.

"Now where the fuck did that chickenshit go?" Buck muses.

"I love you Abel Zorro," Fran says.

"Yeah okay. But not right now huh?" Abel Zorro, the king of cool says. "I'm a little busy here."

"Buck," Lola says. "You kinda remind me of a guy I once knew named Fernando Monte Verde, the World's Most Interesting Man. He was up for it. Well up for it."

"Up for what?" Buck asks.

"Up for a real mouthful, with minimal calories..." Lola says.

Buck looks at Abel Zorro.

"Sorry bro," he says. "But I lack your admirable sense of self restraint. When a sexy chick - even if her titties are negligible - offers me a blow job, I just have to go for it."

"I understand," Abel Zorro says, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I've been tempted myself lately."

"Really?" Fran splutters. "So let's..."

"I'm still a happily married man Fran. I have other things to do right now."

"So does Buck, and he isn't complaining," Fran pouts.

"He wouldn't would he?" Abel Zorro muses.

"Let's go get that this dastardly Deano and kill the fuck out of him," Nick suggests.

"Yeah but where'd he go?" Abel Zorro asks.

"He's probably getting fucked up the ass somewhere. In a very gay wife-beating way," Fran says.

"Right," Abel Zorro says forcefully. "I'm off to fuck up a cock jockey."

Thus endeth the penultimate episode in this saga.

To witness Abel Zorro and Buck fuck up the cock jockey, tune in to part 20.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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