London - Boris Johnson has announced that porridge making has been accepted as a demonstration sport for London 2012.
It is usually the privilege of the host country to showcase a demonstration sport and send more athletes than usual. Johnson intends to use this policy to full advantage and pad Britain's medal count as much a possible at the London games.
Lead by a team of bagpipers, Johnson met the press at Marble Arch wearing a kilt and waving a golden spurtle announcing "I could not be more pleased as major of London to be able to celebrate the supreme athleticism of our Scottish neighbours when it comes to the sport of porridge making at the next games."
Scottish athletes who make up most of the Great Britain porridge making team are favoured to take the first three medal places in the 100 litre race as well as the 200 litre and 4 x 100 litre relay performed using the traditional thistle headed maple spurtle as a baton.
Team captain Fergus McFaddie, who claims he could "Crap oot'a batt'r logo" than the one designed for the games, says while proud to be representing Great Britain, porridge making athletes plan on wrapping themselves in the blue Saltire flag of Scotland if victorious and then "Kickin inna few hads."
China and Russia have been trying to play catch-up with their porridge making athletes by using expatriate Scottish grandmothers as coaches but with limited success, some injuries due to rapid congealing have been reported.