Highgrove House - (Love-in-a-Mist Mess): The body of royal florist Sarah Champier-Lowe's husband has been found at the mouth of the River Rat & Parret in what police have described as a classic venus flytrap sting.
David Lowe's corpse was discovered bobbing up and down in the spumy reedbed of a nearby tributary after going AWOL back in April.
Unconfirmed reports say that wolfbane, mandrake root and pansy-ass were somehow involved.
Police this week will grill Prince Charles and Camilla who employ 50 year-old widow Sarah as a personal herbaceous consultant.
Although foul play is not suspected a number of key issues such as fatass life insurance payouts need to be resolved.
Prince Harry is keen on composting.