Cornwall - (Ground Zero Fallout Mess): A topnotch colonel in the Welsh Guards was assassinated by Afghani mercenaries hired by Prince Charles according to CIA wiretap transcripts of Clarence House Twitters.
The commanding officer of the 1st Battalion Welsh Guards died while crossing the Tora Bora in a piss-poor military vehicle that had failed its MOT and lost its Sat-Nav.
The deceased high-ranking soldier had previously been stalked by Charles at his barracks in Cardiff following an outbreak of paranoia in the High Grove household about William and Harry's links to Al Qaeda.
The unnamed colonel was the first commanding officer since 1982 to be executed on Charles' personal orders during an active foreign military operation since Falklands hero Col "H" Jones, VC, was assassinated by desperate wannabe Prince Andrew.
