Expenses Row as Blears joins Big Brother and claims 2nd Home allowance

Funny story written by Not The Nine O'clock News

Friday, 5 June 2009

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Blears in Big Bother over Big Brother

London: Disgraced MP Hazel Blears, who yesterday quit the government as Communities Secretary as it emerged she might have made £80k profit at the expense of UK taxpayers, was involved in further turmoil as she joined the rest of the house-mates as they entered the first night of Big Brother 10.

The NTNON team can confirm that before she resigned, she'd put an expense claim in 8 weeks earlier for £12 thousand pound, for a second home allowance during her stay with BB, despite knowing she would resign yesterday to join her new house-mates.

And we can reveal that Blears, Labour MP for Salford, wrote on the expenses claim form that it was 'part of her role as Communities Secretary to attend a B&B during a promotion of a community youth project in June'

After sleeping with someone high up to get the evidence our intrepid reporter can reveal that a phone call between Blears and the Parliamentary Fees Office was mysteriously intercepted.

Blears: "Could someone put this through please for 8 weeks today? I've to be away for a few days with some of those horrid minority people. My agent told me its a TV programme and there would be models, yanks, christians, trannies, asians, punks, pretty boys, tubbies, angels and other assorted riff raff present. It's revolting and they chose me as community secretary to do it, I hope you're going to be generous, we're hoping to buy Anthea Turners house off her"

Fees Clerk: "As long as you give me £2k back, that's fine."

Late News; Blears joins Susan Boyle in Bin Ladens cave. All 3 in hiding!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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