Michelle Obama has been arrested and locked up in the Tower of London since touching up The Queen at there first meeting at the G20 Summit last week. Her majesty said she felt 'violated and dirty' after the mortal had touched her and that she has 'not been sleeping properly' since the attack.
The First Lady made contact with The Queen after an attempt to swat a fly went wildly wrong. Mrs. Obama missed the Palace Fly, Cousin of the House Fly, and slapped The Queen across the back instead. In a moment of 'panic and misbelieve' she kept her hand on The Queens back to 'cover up her error' as a jester of affection. President Obama has demanded her release from The Tower of London, but to no avail.
'I demand that my wife is released!' he said in a press release held in one of the many meeting rooms in The Beast. Unaware of how she came to having her hand on her back he went on 'My wife is a very passive women, she wouldn't hurt a fly'. This being clearly untrue, aggravated Clarence House, and they are in talks to extend her stay in The Tower of London to a minimum of 150 years, opposed to the mere 75 years she will be sentenced with. President Obama who flew back to the USA with just 499 of his 500 man entourage, leaving Michelle in the UK, is in a terrible way.
It has been illegal to touch The Monarch since 1665 after the outbreak of the Bubonic Plague, in an attempt to stop King Charles II contracting the fierce disease that left 68,000 Londoners dead. Since The Queen has had no physical contact with another human all of her life, her immune system is very weak and there are fears that The Queen could contract a deadly cold from the sniffling American.
Prince Harry has said 'It's a bit cheeky touching Nan like that' he went on 'I'm never allowed to touch her, once I hugged her when she gave me a herd of Polo ponies, but I was threatened with The Tower myself, Michelle deserves what she gets.'
Mrs. Obama, said to be distraught and missing The White House very much, has pleaded that she 'was only trying to help' and that she would not do it again. Before she was lead way by a pair of vegetarian Beefeaters, Michelle and Barry shared a fist bump before parting.
The case continues.