Tuesday, 14 April 2009

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image for Case of the Self Inflicted Porn Star Reaches Federal Court

Washington DC: A woman has been charged with posting nude videos of herself on Youtube in various compromising positions. She faces criminal charges for distributing pornography and may eventually be designated as a sex offender. The trial began today.

Judge Athena began the court proceedings (after the jury was seated) by asking for opening arguments from both sides, beginning with the Federal prosecutor Mr. Eros.

Mr. Eros stated that "the government will employ the bare facts to prove that the defendant exhibited her pussy and tits in violation of -------"

Judge Athena interrupted and said "I will not have that kind of language in my courtroom and the jury will disregard the prosecutor's last remarks! Please rephrase."

Mr. Eros said "yes your honor the government will get to the naked truth by showing the defendant exhibited her vagina and boobs in violation of -------"

Judge Athena again interrupted and said "I will not have that kind of language in my courtroom and the jury will disregard the prosecutor's last remarks! Please rephrase."

Mr. Eros said "yes your honor the government will get to the real skinny by showing the defendant exhibited her %#**$ and @!@* in violation of -------"

Judge Athena said "sit down Mr. Eros you have made your point. Now Ms. Aphrodite you may begin your opening remarks."

Ms. Aphrodite said "thank you your honor, we at the ACLU feel that the defendant was only expressing her first amendment rights to display her ample female attributes in an artistic manner and is not in violation of any laws." Ms. Aphrodite then sat down.

Judge Athena sighed and said "this afternoon the court will be hearing testimony from various witnesses such as Pricilla Prudish, Paris Hilton, Janet Jackson, Britney Spears, Madonna, Victoria Secret and Hugh Heffner." She then recessed the proceedings for lunch, cautioning the jury not to talk to or twitter anyone about the case.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pornography




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