Sausage Attack Mother Calls For Sterner Punishment For Her Wayward Son

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 August 2007

image for Sausage Attack Mother Calls For Sterner Punishment For Her Wayward Son
Death by sausage

A boy in Manchester who assaulted an old man with a sausage has come in for some scathing criticism from the most unlikely source - his mum.

The boy, who is 12, threw the pork sausage at the 74-year-old victim in Woodhouse Park, south Manchester on August 11th, and was arrested soon after.

He was taken to Gin Slinger Police Station in handcuffs, had his mugshot and fingerprints taken and was thrown into a cell with a male rapist, after receiving the customary beating from Britain's Finest.

Yesterday, at Manchester Youth Court, the boy was acquitted of the crime, and the Crown Prosecution Service are to launch an investigation over why the case ever came to court.

Speaking after the hearing though, the boy's mother told reporters that the judge had an ideal opportunity to teach her son a lesson, and had wasted it. She said:

"Last time he slung a meat pie at a baby in its pram, and before that he dropped a bacon sandwich from the top of a block of flats in Moss Side. If he isn't locked up, he's going to kill someone one o' these days!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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