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Funny satire stories about Sausages

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Bacon Bits

Art lovers the world over were overjoyed today as a new painting by Francis Bacon was discovered. The painting had been down the back of a sofa in Sofia and was discovered by the cleaning lady, Sophie Sofia, in the early hours of yesterday morning.

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Boy comes out as straight at high school assembly

Funny story: Boy comes out as straight at high school assembly

It was an end of the year assembly to honor the athletes at Jack Dempsey High School. The Stogton Village, New York school was just about to wrap up its ceremonies when Senior Terry Freely took the stage to accept his team spirit award. Terry...

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Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

Funny story: Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

In its sweep of non-labelling, Target turned the tables on fruit lovers. Not wanting to offend anyone, its fruits, fresh or packaged, will now be thrown into a large bin and with signage: Fruit Flavored Stuff. "If you want a lime for your Coron...

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1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

Funny story: 1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

FRANKFURT, GERMANY - In an effort to establish dachshund racing in Germany, the Frankfurt City Fathers are excited to announce the First Annual International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be held here in June. Race Organizer, Engleb...

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Gummint Sausage Analysis

Some have said that it is never advisable to look too closely at what goes into the making of sausage; that doing so can reduce one's appetite for the product. However, in the interest of public health and safety, a group of investigators has been l...

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'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

Funny story: 'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...

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Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Funny story: Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local man Martin Shuttlecock, in an uncharacteristic fit of adventurousness, travelled to the posher suburbs of London, somewhere near, or even in Kent, apparently for a family double-Christening. The ceremony itself passed off without major incid...

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Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Funny story: Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...

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Nigella Lawson Caught Smuggling Imported Knockwurst

Funny story: Nigella Lawson Caught Smuggling Imported Knockwurst

Security screeners at LAX noticed something amiss when foodie Nigella Lawson came through their security line readying herself for a trip back home to London after spending a whirlwind couple of weeks in America. After noticing Ms. Lawson acting a...

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Isle Of Wight News - Sausage Factory Proposal Receives Tentative Approval

Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Sausage Factory Proposal Receives Tentative Approval

The Ryde Development Corporation, chaired by gay Mayor Vernon Adcock - resplendent in the traditional Mayoral ermine robes and crocodile-skin boots, with stovepipe hat and clutching a traditional Cumberland sausage, shallow fried - today granted tent...

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Does Adam Lambert Even Eat Sausage?

Funny story: Does Adam Lambert Even Eat Sausage?

That is the question that was on everyone's mind when the story broke on the Spoof by writer Bureau that Adam Lambert will be replacing the late Jimmy Dean as a spokesperson for the popular sausage brand. "When we approached Adam for the gig," say...

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The Day the Sausage Died

Funny story: The Day the Sausage Died

Good-bye, Jimmy Dean Though I hardly knew you at all You really knew how to grind the pork And spice it up just right... So there I was, this morning, riding the bus home from work, and I'm thinking I might make eggs and toast for breakfast when I get home. And I think, hey, some turkey sausage would be good with the eggs and toast. (Turkey sausage because even though I wrote "pork" in...

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Hmm....Cleaner Tasting Sausages - One Man's Fight To Battle Sausage Machine!

Funny story: Hmm....Cleaner Tasting Sausages - One Man's Fight To Battle Sausage Machine!

A cleaner came close to being the latest taste sensation in the sausage world. The guy narrowly avoided being minced into sausage after a mishap in the United States, after he was sucked into a machine at his employers sausage-making company. The...

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Sausage Man Escapes Unharmed

Funny story: Sausage Man Escapes Unharmed

Braut City, New Hampshire. Last night an unnamed worker at the Live Free or Die Sausage Company was grabbed and loaded into a sausage machine by an industrial robot. The man emerged minutes later as a six-foot long sausage. The man was able t...

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Eating sausages kills you!

Funny story: Eating sausages kills you!

Sausage eaters all over the world eating them and other processed foods are in danger, they kill! German sausage eaters would normally be "high risk" because they eat, per man, the most sausages on the planet but being Krauts they have a solution...

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Incompetent Surgeon Botched Penis Enhancement Procedure

Funny story: Incompetent Surgeon Botched Penis Enhancement Procedure

Disgraced cosmetic surgeon Jaffari Al Jiggyjig faced a second day of questioning by the Greedy Medical Council over allegations that he ruined a patient's sex life when he allegedly botched a penis enhancement procedure on a man known as 'Patient X'...

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TV Regulator rules against Cocks' Chicken vs Balls' Sausages

Funny story: TV Regulator rules against Cocks' Chicken vs Balls' Sausages

Global sausage manufacturer 'Balls Sausages' lost their battle with the TV regulator today regarding complaints raised about an advert shown in July. 35 people complained about the advert which depicted a normal family of four sitting down to dinn...

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Pig Almost Gets the Salami at Kuleto's Ranch

Funny story: Pig Almost Gets the Salami at Kuleto's Ranch

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A prize pig nearly got poked by a fat fucker at a farm just Northwest of San Francisco earlier today, but a dry Italian salami put an end to that, according to a witness. Robert "Bob" Kuleto, already shaped like an enormous Sec...

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