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Funny satire stories about Sausages

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Funny story: 75th annual sausage weigh man show

75th annual sausage weigh man show

Today in Balderdash marks the 75th annual Sausage weigh man show. The show begins at 9:00pm tonight and will have music by the country metal band the Fartknockers and comedy double act Tate n Lyle will also be performing in the "Fosters Liver" tent.

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Funny story: Sausage War Armistice Declared

Sausage War Armistice Declared

It has been a long and fruitless conflict. Yet now it is over. Today, at the sausageth minute, of the sausageth hour, of the sausageth day of July, we shall remember the fallen. Those poor sausages who didn't make it. For many didn't make it. They…

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Funny story: Bratwurst v Fish & Chips! Which will fry the longest?

Bratwurst v Fish & Chips! Which will fry the longest?

Lovers of two wonderful national favourite foods, devoured on a daily basis throughout England and Germany are now at a quandary as to which iconic fried delicatesse will come out of the deep-fry-pan first. Pizza and Paella lovers do not have such…

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Funny story: Britain preparing for sausage war with EU

Britain preparing for sausage war with EU

The people of Northern Ireland have been stuffed again. From the end of June there will be a ban on British sausages being imported there. Thanks to Boris Johnson's Northern Ireland protocol, there is now a customs borders down the Irish Sea separ…

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Funny story: Manchester United: Harry Maguire Reveals His First Job Was Making Sausages

Manchester United: Harry Maguire Reveals His First Job Was Making Sausages

We all have secrets in our past that we may be either ashamed or embarrassed about, but Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has no such concerns about his past, and yesterday revealed that, after leaving school, he had a pa...

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Funny story: Bacon Bits

Bacon Bits

Art lovers the world over were overjoyed today as a new painting by Francis Bacon was discovered. The painting had been down the back of a sofa in Sofia and was discovered by the cleaning lady, Sophie Sofia, in the early hours of yesterday morning.

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Funny story: Boy comes out as straight at high school assembly

Boy comes out as straight at high school assembly

It was an end of the year assembly to honor the athletes at Jack Dempsey High School. The Stogton Village, New York school was just about to wrap up its ceremonies when Senior Terry Freely took the stage to accept his team spirit award. Terry...

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Funny story: Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

Target Continues Its Nonsensical Non-Labelling

In its sweep of non-labelling, Target turned the tables on fruit lovers. Not wanting to offend anyone, its fruits, fresh or packaged, will now be thrown into a large bin and with signage: Fruit Flavored Stuff. "If you want a lime for your Coron...

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Funny story: 1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

FRANKFURT, GERMANY - In an effort to establish dachshund racing in Germany, the Frankfurt City Fathers are excited to announce the First Annual International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be held here in June. Race Organizer, Engleb...

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Funny story: Gummint Sausage Analysis

Gummint Sausage Analysis

Some have said that it is never advisable to look too closely at what goes into the making of sausage; that doing so can reduce one's appetite for the product. However, in the interest of public health and safety, a group of investigators has been l...

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Funny story: 'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

'Whorsemeat sausages' all the rage among Kazahk Olympic shot put hopefuls

London - 'Kazy Karta' chipolatas made from surplus Kazakh thoroughbreds will be beefing up the country's shot put team's Olympic chances according to an announcement today. The Astana delicacy has an awesome reputation among the nation's gastropod...

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Funny story: Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Local man Martin Shuttlecock, in an uncharacteristic fit of adventurousness, travelled to the posher suburbs of London, somewhere near, or even in Kent, apparently for a family double-Christening. The ceremony itself passed off without major incid...

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Funny story: Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Pete Doherty In Bavarian Burglary Shambles

Mad Rocker Pete Doherty has been arrested after breaking into a record shop in the Bavarian town of Regensburg in Germany. The former Libertines & Babyshambles frontman was caught stealing a bundle of records and also a guitar. An eye-witness...

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Funny story: Nigella Lawson Caught Smuggling Imported Knockwurst

Nigella Lawson Caught Smuggling Imported Knockwurst

Security screeners at LAX noticed something amiss when foodie Nigella Lawson came through their security line readying herself for a trip back home to London after spending a whirlwind couple of weeks in America. After noticing Ms. Lawson acting a...

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Funny story: Isle Of Wight News - Sausage Factory Proposal Receives Tentative Approval

Isle Of Wight News - Sausage Factory Proposal Receives Tentative Approval

The Ryde Development Corporation, chaired by gay Mayor Vernon Adcock - resplendent in the traditional Mayoral ermine robes and crocodile-skin boots, with stovepipe hat and clutching a traditional Cumberland sausage, shallow fried - today granted tent...

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Funny story: Does Adam Lambert Even Eat Sausage?

Does Adam Lambert Even Eat Sausage?

That is the question that was on everyone's mind when the story broke on the Spoof by writer Bureau that Adam Lambert will be replacing the late Jimmy Dean as a spokesperson for the popular sausage brand. "When we approached Adam for the gig," say...

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Funny story: The Day the Sausage Died

The Day the Sausage Died

Good-bye, Jimmy Dean Though I hardly knew you at all You really knew how to grind the pork And spice it up just right... So there I was, this morning, riding the bus home from work, and I'm thinking I might make eggs and toast for breakfast when I get home. And I think, hey, some turkey sausage would be good with the eggs and toast. (Turkey sausage because even though I wrote "pork" in...

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