London Car Bombs Aimed At Gay Pride Festival, Maybe - Police

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 30 June 2007


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An Arab man with his 'boyfriend'

Police investigating the two car bombs planted in Central London yesterday say that the Gay Pride festival could have been a target for the bombers.

The festival, held every year to celebrate homosexual frivolity, attracts scorn from many people, and would, it's thought, constitute a prime target for Islamic fundamentalists who absolutely loathe gayness.

Middle East experts say that homosexuality is strictly taboo in many countries in the region, and that Arab would-be homos would rather have sex with animals, such as camels or horses, than with each other.

Prof Hassan al-Farmyard, lecturer in Arabic Affairs at London University, said:

"Arabs find homosexuality repugnant. It is forbidden. On many occasions, however, I have witnessed men standing on a box and having sex with a camel. It is considered to be a test of a man's character".

This year's festival, which will be the 'campest' yet, will be attended by celebrities such as Sir Reg Dwight and BBC 'funnyman' Graham Norton. It will feature rampant street frolicking, and will be screened live on BBC1 from 1pm.

Police investigating the car bombs have said that there could be links to al-Qaeda, and that gays should be vigilant at all times. Det. Chief Inspector Donald Carnage told reporters:

"We advise all rear admirals to be on their guard. In what may be a related development, a bomb has been found in some KY lubricant in a pharmacy in Shepherd's Bush. It's a troubling time for puffs."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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