Teenager Thomas Johnson has bought all of the Valentine's cards from Chutney on The Fritz's Post Office, the only place in the village that sells them so that for a change the town's least eligible bachelor Brian Asshat won't be able to.
'I thought, that for a change I would have at least one card to send to Sarah this year' explained Thomas 'Now I just have to decide which of the 16 ones I will send her'.
'There are 13 really cliched ones that I won't send, but of the other three I don't know which one to send, and then what do I write in them? How do I profess my feelings to Sarah, she is absolutely lovely'.
Sarah said 'Honestly, it would just make a change not to have a card from Brian this year, and Thomas is just great. I wish he would just ask me out. I am turning down older boys in the sixth form for him'.
