Truss Offered A Green Goo Time Machine

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Saturday, 28 January 2023

image for Truss Offered A Green Goo Time Machine
Damien with his Shark ... Will It Last Longer than Liz?

Damien Hirst put a tiger shark into a glass box filled with green goo, and called it a masterpiece.

Now he’s thinking of an even more revolutionary project, but involving a real person.

Will she go for it?

He has contacted Liz Truss’ office and asked if the former Prime Minister of GB will consent to being dipped in goo and put on display at the Tate Modern for all to gawk at?

Carnival barkers have also been hired and put On Call, waiting for Liz’s answer.

“Come and see the shortest lived PM of our times! Watch as she floats in a greenish limbo, bubbles burbling from her mouth, no one understand a word she says, except ‘I want out! Let me out of this thing!”

Out of what? Out of the top spot that anyone else would give their left ovary for? You spoiled little … how much money is she raking in just doing nothing for the rest of her life? She’s like a one-hit wonder from the 60s – “Mrs Brown you’ve got a lovely PM” – and riding it long past its due date.

Will Liz agree to Damien’s request to be frozen in time forever? Or is she there already?

Stay tuned, art fans!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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