Following the death-by-shark of a teenage girl Sandgropers in their thousands have launched a petition demanding that attacks cease. Immediately. The hapless teen was jetskiing on the Swan River when she spotted a pod of dolphins and apparently de…
Damien Hirst put a tiger shark into a glass box filled with green goo, and called it a masterpiece. Now he’s thinking of an even more revolutionary project, but involving a real person. Will she go for it? He has contacted Liz Truss’ office…
WEST YARMOUTH, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) - Seth Zyoming, 68, has been fishing the waters off of Massachusetts for the past 50 years. In that time "The Lure" as his fellow fishermen call him, has caught it all including flounder, cod, macker…
The male sharks were gathered together at their favorite watering hole in the Bahamas, and just chewing some barracuda fat - and one of them brought up their frequent topic - Humans. 'Big Mako', a burly shark, said - “I don't even like the taste…
New York is suffering under the wrath of the shark! Sharks have been eating people, sometimes with mustard or hot and spicy salsa, and washing up on NY beaches, wondering where Steven Spielberg is at. Spielberg has commented: “No, there have been…
PILGRIM MUSKET, Massachusetts - (Satire News) - The local authorities of the beautiful beach town, by the Atlantic Ocean have just informed the citizenry that shark attacks have increased by 900% just since the start of summer. When asked if they…
VENICE, Italy – (World News) – Scientists are puzzled-as-hell as to how the hell, a 16-foot great white shark ended up in the canals of Venice. The shark was seen by two different gondoliers who remarked that the shark looked exactly like the one…
Authorities in Perth, in western Australia, have released details of a terrifying incident in which a Great White Shark encircled a group of surfers in order to attack them, followed them out of the water, and pursued them over a sandy beach. The…
Jason Statham's big budget epic “The Meg” is eyeing a North American opening weekend in the $60 million range, early tracking shows. The lower end of estimates come in at $48 million, while others are speculating earnings as high as $65 million.
Governor Murphy announced he will be signing the Bill passed last week by the Democratic lawmakers in New Jersey to ban swimming at all beaches on the Jersey Shore this year. House Bill 1916 was passed through both Houses last Thursday. Spe...
For the last two weeks a Silver Spring, MD man, Gerald Bittten, has done nothing but complain about a land shark eating him alive. The man initially made contact with the shark at a Chuck – E-Cheese restaurant in which he was celebrating his nine ye...
Washington, D.C. - In an 2011 interview, Stormy Daniels, a porn star who at that time claimed to be a former mistress of Donald Trump, described Trump's fear of sharks. Although Trump publicly acknowledges only a "professional" relationship with Dan...
A rather naive Australian dog-owner pair strolling along a free-leash beach near Sydney were transformed into a state of shock as their beloved Pitbull Terrier disappeared in shark infested waters! "Oh my god, our beloved doggy has just been swall...
Labour front bencher Seely Kau today expressed "regret for any offence I may have caused" after tweeting a photograph she had taken of a Rochester UKIP voter's house on which she had spray painted a phallus. Ms Kau, who lives in a £3 million house...
Twelve container loads of Large White Sharks have been released into the Somerset flood regions by conservationists. I spoke with an environment spokesperson who explained their actions: "These animals are natural clean up agents and will do a lo...
Today marks the fortieth anniversary of Peter Buckwad's bestselling novel, Vampire Shark! In truth, the novel might not be remembered today if not for the blockbuster movie adaptation, but we're celebrating the book anyway. The movie's popularity was the cause of the anti-shark hysteria that gripped the world in the mid-seventies and eventually led to the complete extinction of all shark life on t...
In a dramatic turn of events, it was revealed by the Queensland fisheries minister yesterday, that the state government is to use dying children and the aged attached to drumlines in order to lure and trap man-eating Great White sharks. The mini...
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