My King Has Fleas

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Friday, 16 December 2022

image for My King Has Fleas
Salute His Royal Flea-ness, Maggot!

King Charles has fleas.

Camilla has to pluck them out every night before she tucks the King into his royal bunkbed. She has bitten into them, and found them not to her liking. Still, she swallowed.

The King says they are not British fleas, that Britain has no fleas, so they must have come from “one of those, you know, African or Asian countries”, echoing his son’s words of xenophobia.

A Royal Messenger has stated that “The fleas are not black. The King wouldn’t tolerate black fleas. Only white ones. Or ones that wear tiny crowns. Those the King would happily host anywhere on his royal body.”

As they were saying this, several fleas jumped from the Messenger’s royal personage onto several reporters, who agreed to report that not a single black flea could be found anywhere on or near the Great King of Great Britain.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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