The real reason why energy bills are so high

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 26 August 2022

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Follow Bulby's advice and switch yourself off

After his entire cabinet resigned, Johnson appointed one of his spoilt 7 year old sons as Energy Minister. During a meeting where he was asked what the energy price cap should be, Rupert Johnson replied "A gazillion pounds!" before running away to look for orphans to punch.

Lame duck Prime Minister Johnson has refused to undo the rise, saying that is the responsIbility of his successor and that it was also Russia's fault.

Mathematician Geoff Seven has said that the policy makes no sense. "During my mathematics degree, I had to actually count to a million, and I can confirm that there is no such number as a gazillion. Therefore the price cap is invalid. Although it could be argued that a gazillion is larger than any known number, so that there is effectively no price cap at all."

Meanwhile PM hopeful Rishi Sunak has said he would reduce the cap to half a gazillion, and Liz Truss has said she would proudly wear a price cap.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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