LONDON - (Satire News) - Britain's eldest singer, Petula Clark, who is 89, has just performed to a sold-out audience at Wembley Stadium to raise money for the people of Ukraine.
The blonde songstress followed the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Animals, and the Dave Clark Five right after they 'musically' invaded the United States back in 1964, (58 years ago!).
Petula recorded such hits as "Downtown," "Uptown," "I Know A Place," "Don't Sleep In The Subway," and "Hey Blokes I Know Another Place."
Miss Clark, who doesn't look a day over 83, performed to over a crowd of 91,307 concert goers, including Simon Cowell, Len Goodman, Prince Charles, Cheryl "Chezza" Cole, Ricky Gervais, and her majesty herself, Queen Elizabeth, who wore a blue and yellow hat in honor of Ukraine.
Also on the concert bill were three very popular United Kingdom heavy metal bands; Camel Toe, The Sherwood Forest Wankers, and Nathan & The Nazi Haters.
SIDENOTE: The concert raised a grand total of £973,000 [$1.19 million - US]
