In a local Tesco, unsold, slightly rotting Pumpkin Tim Claypole and unsold firework Christoper Biggins are commiserating about their fate.
'It is dreadful' bewailed Tim 'no-one wanted me. I was not taken into a toddler's home, to feel the love that humans bequeath to their Pumpkins. When I see them, looking so glamourous, with their big smiles, and their big eyes, and the candle burning in the middle, I think, that could have been me'.
Christopher continued 'When I hear other fireworks exploding, I think, that could have been, adding to the cacophony, scaring pets, small children, old people, and I think about the fun that I could have been having'.
We didn't want to break the news to the two that they were the lucky ones.