Fairbury, Nebraska - A douchebag High School football jock was all smiles today after breaking the district record for the most times one player has said "that's what she said" during a single season of football. Senior, Derren Brown, 17, quarterb...
Not all of us can afford the best in clothing and shoes, and often, we have to make do with cheaper substitutes. This was exactly the scenario at a Bangkok school this week, when an English instructor witnessed one of the students in one of his c...
For some unfathomable reason, in 2013, Fanny Chmelar reduced Bradley Walsh and participants in ITV's The Chase to tears at the mere mention of her name. Chmelar (pronounced "shmeller") was born on 31 October 1985 and is a German former alpine skier. Fanny competed for Germany at the 2010 Winter Olympics and in three Skiing World Championships between 2007 and 2011. She also competed in the Worl...
The Football Association was reeling today when England fans presented a petition with 45 million signatures begging them not to allow the team to win the World Cup. It had been signed by men, women, children and in one case a Leicester pensioner's c...
"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...
English football was over the moon yesterday as it was announced that former bad boy, Joey Barton will become the new manager of League One side Fleetwood Town this summer - one day after his ban for match betting ends on 1st June. Fleetwood chairman...
The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia’s Gold Coast certainly lived up to their unofficial title of the “over-friendly games” in the athletes’ village with the home team’s women proving their strength in sprints, long distance and team events. It w...
In a hastily convened press conference at the Commonwealth Gold Coast games today, the Me Too Movement, assisted by Femen activists, told how they had been investigating a catalogue of abuse by English number one tiddlywinker and Balham’s former “art...
Afternoon lessons at a school in the Thai capital of Bangkok were summarily cancelled ALL LAST WEEK, after they fell victim to the notoriously-loud activity of Cheering Practice, in preparation for the School Sports Day, which will take place on Mond...
Now the Aussie Bogans (Rednecks) have been doing mindless burnouts for years they are bored and have moved on for the next cheap thrill. So someone came up with the idea of putting a small fuel leak over the back tires so that they light up. This...
Following her humiliating defeat at the hands of the British electorate, British Prime Minster Teresa May is looking for a new pastime, to while away the worries of missing important discussions, not turning up for meetings, not having a decent polic...
DULUTH, GA ---- Bob Twat bogeyed two of the last three holes during his play at Friday's PGA Tour Champions' Mitsubishi Electric Classic. "It's disappointing that I actually hit two nice shots on 7 and 9," he said. "Otherwise, I'd be even further...
The assembled press came to see one loser as Maria Sharapova admitted taking the recently banned substance Meldonium. But there was another one on show: an innocent carpet, left bruised and with its shag swept against the natural lay. As she offer...
Fishing Fishermen are people who want to call themselves Sportsmen but lack the necessary athletic ability to participant in other sports. Fish are a captive prey trapped in a body of water with nowhere else to go, and are easy targets for even the most inept human predator. Fishermen are also known as anglers because they always have an angle, and never a straightforward approach to the sport...
Hunting In modern civilization there is absolutely no reason to hunt or fish. Such sports are retrogressive compulsions to return to our primitive subhuman origin and are popular among people with lower levels of intellect. They fear the challenging changes of urban integration that comes with rapid evolutionary advancement so they try to escape and seek refuge in the wild. In their ultimate a...
Cockfighting With perversion as the defining feature throughout all of Sportsdom, is it any wonder that men raise their cocks, stick them in a pit and get extremely excited as the creatures bite and claw each other to death. Bull fights and dog fights are somewhat understandable, but why on earth would anyone be interested in a cock fight? The answer is simple: Because they are the most depriv...
Bullfighting This sport symbolizes the fight of good against evil, or truth against falsehood. The bullfighter, known as the Matador, represents the good truth, and the bull represents the evil lies (bullshit). The term Matador comes from the root mat at the door , or doormat, suggesting a thing to clean one's shoes after stepping into a pile of bullshit. The symbolism of the sport is as f...
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