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Where are they now? Fanny Chmelar, Alpine Skier

Funny story: Where are they now? Fanny Chmelar, Alpine Skier

For some unfathomable reason, in 2013, Fanny Chmelar reduced Bradley Walsh and participants in ITV's The Chase to tears at the mere mention of her name. Chmelar (pronounced "shmeller") was born on 31 October 1985 and is a German former alpine skier. Fanny competed for Germany at the 2010 Winter Olympics and in three Skiing World Championships between 2007 and 2011. She also competed in the Worl...

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England Football Fans Beg Team Not to Win World Cup

Funny story: England Football Fans Beg Team Not to Win World Cup

The Football Association was reeling today when England fans presented a petition with 45 million signatures begging them not to allow the team to win the World Cup. It had been signed by men, women, children and in one case a Leicester pensioner's c...

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Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

Funny story: Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...

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Fans’ Favourite Joey Barton Appointed as Fleetwood Town Head Coach

Funny story: Fans’ Favourite Joey Barton Appointed as Fleetwood Town Head Coach

English football was over the moon yesterday as it was announced that former bad boy, Joey Barton will become the new manager of League One side Fleetwood Town this summer - one day after his ban for match betting ends on 1st June. Fleetwood chairman...

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Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

Funny story: Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia’s Gold Coast certainly lived up to their unofficial title of the “over-friendly games” in the athletes’ village with the home team’s women proving their strength in sprints, long distance and team events. It w...

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Commonwealth Games Shock as England Tiddlywinks Player Is Sent Home

Funny story: Commonwealth Games Shock as England Tiddlywinks Player Is Sent Home

In a hastily convened press conference at the Commonwealth Gold Coast games today, the Me Too Movement, assisted by Femen activists, told how they had been investigating a catalogue of abuse by English number one tiddlywinker and Balham’s former “art...

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Lessons Cancelled Due To Sports Day Cheering Practice

Funny story: Lessons Cancelled Due To Sports Day Cheering Practice

Afternoon lessons at a school in the Thai capital of Bangkok were summarily cancelled ALL LAST WEEK, after they fell victim to the notoriously-loud activity of Cheering Practice, in preparation for the School Sports Day, which will take place on Mond...

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Latest Bogan Sport - Hoon Spectator Toasting or what is known colloquially as Crowd Spraying

Funny story: Latest Bogan Sport - Hoon Spectator Toasting or what is known colloquially as Crowd Spraying

Now the Aussie Bogans (Rednecks) have been doing mindless burnouts for years they are bored and have moved on for the next cheap thrill. So someone came up with the idea of putting a small fuel leak over the back tires so that they light up. This...

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Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Funny story: Running through wheat fields to be new Olympic Sport

Following her humiliating defeat at the hands of the British electorate, British Prime Minster Teresa May is looking for a new pastime, to while away the worries of missing important discussions, not turning up for meetings, not having a decent polic...

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For pro golfer Bob Twat, being cute and inspirational may have to be enough

Funny story: For pro golfer Bob Twat, being cute and inspirational may have to be enough

DULUTH, GA ---- Bob Twat bogeyed two of the last three holes during his play at Friday's PGA Tour Champions' Mitsubishi Electric Classic. "It's disappointing that I actually hit two nice shots on 7 and 9," he said. "Otherwise, I'd be even further...

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Sharapova Drugs Scandal: Hotel Carpet Hits Back After Slur

Funny story: Sharapova Drugs Scandal: Hotel Carpet Hits Back After Slur

The assembled press came to see one loser as Maria Sharapova admitted taking the recently banned substance Meldonium. But there was another one on show: an innocent carpet, left bruised and with its shag swept against the natural lay. As she offer...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 10: Fishing

Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 10: Fishing

Fishing Fishermen are people who want to call themselves Sportsmen but lack the necessary athletic ability to participant in other sports. Fish are a captive prey trapped in a body of water with nowhere else to go, and are easy targets for even the most inept human predator. Fishermen are also known as anglers because they always have an angle, and never a straightforward approach to the sport...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 9: Hunting

Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 9: Hunting

Hunting In modern civilization there is absolutely no reason to hunt or fish. Such sports are retrogressive compulsions to return to our primitive subhuman origin and are popular among people with lower levels of intellect. They fear the challenging changes of urban integration that comes with rapid evolutionary advancement so they try to escape and seek refuge in the wild. In their ultimate a...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 8: Cockfighting

Funny story: The Case Against Sports- Part 8: Cockfighting

Cockfighting With perversion as the defining feature throughout all of Sportsdom, is it any wonder that men raise their cocks, stick them in a pit and get extremely excited as the creatures bite and claw each other to death. Bull fights and dog fights are somewhat understandable, but why on earth would anyone be interested in a cock fight? The answer is simple: Because they are the most depriv...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 7: Bullfighting

Bullfighting This sport symbolizes the fight of good against evil, or truth against falsehood. The bullfighter, known as the Matador, represents the good truth, and the bull represents the evil lies (bullshit). The term Matador comes from the root mat at the door , or doormat, suggesting a thing to clean one's shoes after stepping into a pile of bullshit. The symbolism of the sport is as f...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 5: Rodeo

Rodeo This decidedly animalistic sport is a rowdy remnant from the old Wild West with whippersnapper cowboys, cattlemen, and clowns-all assembled in a round ring of detritus and dung. With nothing better to do on a Saturday night drunk and lonely cowpoke flexed their machismo and challenged their fellow herdsman to compete for the worthiness of mating with the choicest livestock. To defend t...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 6: Cheating

Cheating Sports are a just another form of entertainment that needs to attract and hold the interest of an audience so it can sell tickets and advertising. If it's not exciting it's not entertaining, and that's bad for business. The truth is that most sports, especially baseball, are just plain boring. With broadcasters competing for viewers, the pressure to increase the entertainment factor is...

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The Case Against Sports- Part 4: Games

Games For as long as games have been played philosophers and intellectuals have wondered why they are played. Subsequent to centuries of careful deliberation the consensus has concluded that the only rationale is because game playing is the opposite of doing work. It's what young people do before they are competent enough to do actual work. It's what infants do because that's all they're able t...

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Breaking news…

Putin Hacked The Emmys

NBC, ABC, and CBS all claim that Russian President Putin hacked the Emmy Award computers, to explain how unknown, barely-viewed shows on Netflix and HBO could win so many awards.
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