Bereaved mother slams makers of women's sanitary products

Written by Clive Danton

Wednesday, 20 November 2019

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The mother of a teenage girl who collapsed and died during her menstrual cycle last week, broke down in front of reporters earlier today before hitting out at the advertising campaigns used by the makers of women's sanitary products.

Mrs Mary Dell, 32, of Poplar, East London, whose 17-year-old daughter, Tracy, collapsed and died whilst playing tennis in a pair of dazzlingly white shorts, believes that these advertising campaigns which portray various women participating in a variety of sports and strenuous outdoor activities are misleading, and a bad influence on impressionable youngsters.

"Tracy was always a quiet and studious child who much preferred being indoors curled up with a book or chatting to her friends on Facebook to taking part in outdoor sports and so on," she said.

"But, as soon as she began her period, her whole demeanour would change, and, almost immediately, she'd put on blindingly-white clothing before going off rock climbing, abseiling, roller blading and so on.

"She would even wait for a really windy day before going out for a game of tennis in a tiny skirt with a pair of white knickers on, so that people could see how confident she was.

"In my day, we'd just stay in for a few days and help our mums with the housework during our 'time of the month', or sit up in our bedrooms reading books with a face like thunder. These companies have got a lot to answer for if you ask me."

The CEO of Ladypart Products, Mrs Amanda Carter, spoke to reporters outside the company's headquarters in Whitechapel last night.

"Of course, we're deeply sorry to learn of this terrible tragedy, and our thoughts are with Tracy's family at this distressing time, but we totally refute any allegations that we're harming youngsters by encouraging them to pursue an active lifestyle during their menstrual cycle.

In fact, I'm in the middle of a particularly heavy period, myself, at the moment, and cant wait to begin scaling a rockface wearing a pair of skintight white trousers and no knickers."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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