Written by T. Loaf

Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Now the Conservative party is ripping itself apart over Brexit, criticism of Boris the Brat is reaching seismic proportions. And yet: criticising Johnson is like treading water in the Dead Sea. Whatever way you do it, you can't fail. But you don't get anywhere, either.

Having served tea to journalists, having grinned and slept at the Oval during the Test match against India, having insulted his colleagues at home and abroad, having kicked the PM in the shins, having resigned after the workload became too tough and having lied - at which he excels - about the Chequers statement, he has now told his fellow Conservatives he will leave the party if not elected as new leader. To any normal person, this may sound like coercion, but Tories are clearly not normal folk, and decency, not to mention loyalty, are of no essence to them. Consequently, Johnson's repugnant behaviour will be greeted with open arms at the conference next month and his disloyalty glossed over as 'airing one's opinion within a democratic forum'. Quite, of course.....

Johnson is Britain's Trump, except he has charm and a brain...making him even more intimidating. He hasn't built a wall yet, though the false wall he erected around Brexit arguments has now disintegrated to reveal the rot behind.

Yet it could just happen, couldn't it? You might be right, it could happen.....God help us......

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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