As the UK Labour Party goes not just to hell in a handcart, but also to places that the Starship USS Enterprise never even dreamed of going to, Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the Labour Party today showed his gentler side by releasing details of the "Top 5" on his bucket list.
Suffering from a Shadow Chancellor who was thrown off the Greater London Council for malodorous accounting practices, a Shadow Home Secretary who can't even count on her fingers let alone use a calculator, and a Shadow Foreign Secretary who, although a total idiot, is not the least bit foreign, Mr Corbyn felt the time was right to diffuse the political situation and show his gentler human side. This was the reason for the release of his bucket list.
Speaking with his close relative, Aunt Ease Emitism, he revealed his all time top 5 bucket list to be as follows:
1. Top of the stack for Mr Corbyn is the black plastic utility bucket from B&Q at £5.99
2. Runner-up is a red, plastic 12-litre bucket from Asda at £2.99
3. Third is the wooden-handled see-through Flaatulente bucket (£9.99) from IKEA which is available with the optional matching Brumstiq mop
4. The Wilkinson or "Wilko" "Utility" bucket at £2.39
5. The Vivienne Westwood Tin Bucket at £699, designed by one of her zero hours, zero pay interns who has to also pay her own bus fare into work seven, or as Diane Abbot would say, eight days a week.