Amber Rudd To Be Given 'Cushy Job'

Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 2 May 2018

image for Amber Rudd To Be Given 'Cushy Job'
Amber Rudd's nose - growing every time she tells a lie

Amber Rudd, the former Conservative Party Home Secretary who resigned her post earlier this week due to her involvement in the Windrush Scandal, is to be found a nice, cushy job once all the silly 'fuss and nonsense' over Windrush has died down.

Rudd is the latest in a lengthening line of 'Fall Guys' or, in this case, 'Gals' who have fallen on their swords so that a bigger name - on this occasion, the Prime Minister Theresa May - can escape blame. May it was, who was the Home Secretary when Tory policy changes on immigration started to affect the Windrush generation, and put their status in the UK at risk. Leaked memos to The Guardian finally put paid to Rudd's career at the weekend.

Or did it?

Rudd may be an odious liar, and a lickspittle for the likes of May and her drones, but she won't have been happy about having to give up an esteemed position such as Home Secretary, particularly as the person she is defending - May - is the person who is ultimately responsible for the whole mess.

In the time-honoured fashion of bent politicians, however, it will only be a matter of time before Rudd is back 'fighting the Tory fight', nonchalant-as-you-like, probably in a post further afield - Europe maybe, in the run-up to Brexit, or maybe some sort of liaison position to 'smooth things over' with the Europeans after it's happened. Something like that. Something nice and easy that she can manage without completely fucking it up.

Or maybe the menacing Tories will give her a job 'assisting' the Windrush victims get over their nightmare of suffering. I'm sure she'd do a very good job there, in a very sincere and caring manner.

That's the way politics works. Sadly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more