Brexit negotiations to be held in Disneyland

Written by T. Loaf

Sunday, 11 June 2017

With politics and fairy tales converging ever faster, it was announced today that Brexit negotiations with the EU are to be held in Disneyland. Meetings will be chaired by the Mad Hatter, with the Seven Dwarfs taking minutes in rotation. Dopey will be first to jot down progress between representatives of the European Union and the British government.

Talks may become complex, in which case ombudsmen or citizen advocates will be introduced to the round, in the form of Winnie the Pooh, or alternatively, Donald Duck.

Theresa May, still licking her shoes and wounds after her election disaster welcomed the plans. "I think this is a clear sign of strong and stable irony. I look forward to animated discussions and am sure our EU colleagues will be more than willing to submit their wishes to the bent of the surreal."

Angela Merkel, German Chancellor, was not amused, surrealism being anathema to German politics, and bemoaned the absence of Brother Grimm's Little Red Riding Hood from scheduled sessions.

"Rapunzel or Cinderella would have been far better hosts", she claimed.

Jean-Claude Juncker, President of the European Commission, confirmed that fairy tales were, and always had been, part of the plan to ensure swift agreement with the British. "It's the only language they understand," he stammered, before slipping into a Peter Pan suit. Participants at the Brexit talks have been requested to come as their favourite fairy tale figure.

"No", stated Mrs. May, "I will not be disguised as the Wicked Witch of the West...but yes, Boris and Nigel will be coming as Boris and Nigel....".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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