Written by T. Loaf

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

No, not Richard III but Boris I had chosen these words to express the fortunes of Britons in these dark days.

While Boris Johnson could be seen sporting an open-breasted tunic and full-pleated skirt, with scruffy hair hanging out from under a black velvet hat, his sidekick, aka Nigel Farage, had assumed the clothing of Launcelot Gobbo.

"A little ironic, don't you think?", jested Farage, "playing the Merchant of Venice when we've just severed all relationships. Anyway, when Boris and I take over, Shakespeare's plays are up for grabs. 'The Merchant of Venice' will become 'The Merchant of Hull', 'Two Gentlemen of Verona' will be retitled 'Two Blokes from Rhyll' and 'Timon of Athens' renamed 'Cuthbert of Barnsley'.

Johnson was a little more diplomatic. "Gobbo is of course a clever peasant of Shakespeare's, rather fitting for my little racist companion, whom I will simply have to get rid of somehow. 'Fair is foul and foul is fair'. Yes maybe the witches of Macbeth. Or Rosenkrantz and Guildernstern, or perhaps Mark Antony. He doesn't mess around. I can't stand Farage. His breath smells."

Out of the morning mist emerged a figure in shining armour. It was David Cameron as Julius Ceasar. "Et tu Boris..." were his last words before exiting left.

Johnson suddenly realized his fate: "What a terrible era when idiots govern the blind.."

A certain W. Shakespeare could be heard weeping from the grave....

The curtain fell.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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