Written by Simon Saunders

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

image for Labour Leadership Candidate Outlines His Cunning Plan To Outfox Tories On Hunting Ban
Is this fluffy little scamp a bigger problem than bankers?

Following the SNP's cheeky scuppering of David Cameron's plans to relax the fox hunting ban, even though the plans would bring the law in England into line with Scotland, Jeremy Corbyn gave a press conference this afternoon to give the masses his take on this red hot issue.

Recently dubbed 'The silver fox of left wing politics' by a short sighted drunk woman in a pub, Corbyn stated. "If country bumpkins want to hunt foxes I'm ok with it on one proviso, we city folk should be able to hunt bankers."

Mr Corbyn continued, "Fox hunters consider foxes a pest and to be fair they do maul chickens and worry sheep but bankers have mauled our economy almost beyond repair. They should be punished. Let's face it, a fox does what's natural and gets ripped apart by a bloodhound for its troubles. Bankers tear the economy apart limb by limb and get given loads more cash to do it again. They're definitely a bigger pest than foxes, no one can deny that. Except maybe the bankers themselves. I've even devised a banker trap. It's essentially an upturned box with a stick holding it up and a wad of cash underneath. I tested it yesterday and caught two bankers. They couldn't resist the temptation of free money."

In closing, Mr Corbyn said he will introduce a revised version of the hunting bill if he becomes Labour leader.

We also attempted to speak to SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon and the internationally renowned spokesfox Filbert, the Leicester City FC mascot, but neither were available. Sturgeon is currently tied up filming in her role as 'Mary Doll' for the next series of 'Rab C. Nesbit' and Filbert is believed to be hiding down a hole on the outskirts of Leicester in fear of his life.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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