Written by lukejay

Thursday, 26 March 2015

The seven largest UK political parties have announced they will partake in a tag-team death match before the results of the looming election are revealed.

The event will be staged at Wembley Stadium and fights will involve key members of the Blues, Reds, Orange Yellows, Greens, Purples, Ambers, and Lemonades.

Originally the event was only to consist of one fight to the death between the leader of the Blues Swank Dave, and leader of the Reds Eager Ed.

Event organisers stated that the death match will go ahead regardless of how many members of each party wish to live long and prosperous lives.

It is rumoured that Swank Dave did not want the Blues to partake in the event, and only agreed to do so once the Greens, Amber and Lemonades were invited; to avoid being labelled an ' an out of touch coward with a silver spoon stuck permanently betwixt his butt cheeks.'

The host of the event has said that the death match is predicted to last at least twenty-four hours, and will only end when the final party member 'has drawn their last breath.'

Leader of the Reds Eager Ed has publicly voiced his enthusiasm for the event saying: 'I can't wait to pummel Swank Dave and his lackey Billy Nomates in front of a live audience. This is what the British public wants to see.'

The tag-team event will include a number of elimination rounds, with the following rumoured titles: 'Backbenchers Break Backs', 'Violent Non-Voters', 'Mob Massacre', and 'Smash, Bang, Crack.' Before the final seven go head-to-head in the most anticipated political cage fight of all time.

The political party's not partaking in the event due to lack of importance include: the Black Apathy Party and various grey parties, which are unable to procure even the least amount of team members required for the death match.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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