There was shock in Westminster when the Leader of the Opposition, one Ed Miliband, declared his party's main issue in the impending election.
"As a party we have in the past fought elections based on the economy, the future of the NHS, unemployment and education. However we have to be realistic and honest about what has emerged as important today. It is therefore my position that the party will henceforward campaign on a platform to force the David Cameron to debate policy with me in a pre-election debate."
When asked how this would be implemented should Miliband get to No.10, He stated that the policy was in the early stages of being formulated but in outline that a new law would be passed by an incoming Labour administration obliging David Cameron to attend a had-to-head television pre-election debate with him. Parliament would then be immediately dissolved and there would be a fresh election campaign, this time with the legally-enforceable debate.
"I understand that some people would see this as an immense waste of public money,", he added "but they have to see that in proportion to the cost of bailing out the banks after we failed to regulate them properly when we were last in power, this is small change by comparison."
"I am sure that we can win an election campaigning on this single issue, which is of great importance to the British people. And that the Labour Party would be re-elected by a grateful public once they see the outcome of the debate."
When asked which policies he would likely discuss in this post-election/pre-election debate, Miliband looked at his watch and said, "I'm sorry, I have to dash to another interview.", before running away.
Michael Foot is 102.