Police seek clues in Cosby sitcoms

Funny story written by Gee Pee

Tuesday, 17 February 2015

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Cosby says cops won't find the clues they're after. "I may be a comedian, but I ain't nobody's fool!"

Now that Bill Cosby has been accused of sexually assaulting myriads of women, authorities are reviewing the episodes of his TV sitcoms, named after himself, to see whether any episodes contain clues concerning the alleged assaults.

Cosby starred in "The Bill Cosby Show" from 1969 to 1971; in "The Cosby Show" from 1984 to 1992, and in "Cosby" from 1996-2000.

In some cases, authorities say, the titles of episodes are "suggestive," although they do not, in themselves, necessarily prove sexual assault stemming from the comedian's possible somnophilia, the so-called "Sleeping Beauty Syndrome," a deep-seated disorder that is based on a desire to control women while they are unconscious or otherwise vulnerable to attack.

Police started their investigation with the earliest show.

"Lullaby and Goodnight" is one such title; others include "Home Remedy", "Growing, Growing, Gown", "Lover's Quarrel", and "Dirty Business".

Other episodes' plots have "suspicious parallels," cops say, "to the allegations that have been lodged against Mr. Cosby." For example, in "A Girl named Punkin," Cosby's character, Chet Getz-Laid, experiences difficulties with Punkin, "a young girl who is unresponsive" to him. In "The Blind Date," Chet falls in love after accepting a blind date (allegedly one of his many subterfuges for meeting several of the women whom he allegedly assaulted.)

Next, personnel turned their attention to "The Cosby Show," in which the alleged rapist played Dr. Cliff Huxtable. The results, they say, are "unsettling."

Several of the episodes' titles could be considered "interesting," officers say: "Bad Dreams," "The Slumber Party," "The Juicer," "Monster Man Huxtable," "Rudy Spends the Night," "You Only Hurt the One You Love," "Call of the Wild," "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," "The Visit," "Trust Me" (allegedly, Cosby asked his accusers to "trust" him), "Rudy's All-Nighter," "The Lost Weekend," "A Room with No View," "Cliff's Wet Adventure," "Getting to Know You," "Cliff's Nightmare," "Rudy's Walk on the Wild Side," "Mr. Sandman," "Isn't It Romantic?," "Bird in the Hand," "Total Control," "No More Mr. Nice Guy," Eat, Drink, and Be Wary," and "The Getaway."

In "Bad Dreams," Cliff's 10-year-old daughter Vanessa has nightmares when sleeping in Cliff's bed. "Clair's Case" has Cliff cooking up some "strange concoctions" in the kitchen--fare his kids are leery of sampling. Cliff is pleasantly surprised, in "The Slumber Party" when his daughter asks to have a sleep-over party for her classmates. Needless to say, not much sleep occurs--for Cliff, at any rate. "Once Upon a Time" is also "suggestive," cops contend, as its plot involves Rudy's falling asleep while reading Cliff a fairy tale before she dreams the story, finding that Cliff has a "starring role" in her strange dream.

Finally, "Cosby," in which Cosby plays Hilton Lucas, also raised a few eyebrows.

Again, the titles of some episodes seem "suggestive": "The Two Mr. Lucases" (some say Cosby has a split personality), "No Nudes Is Good Nudes," "Valentine's Day," "Wake Up and Smell the Coffeehouse," "Love Intervention," "Loving Madeline," and "Perfect Valentine."

Plots, too, are "more than a little interesting," police maintain.

In "My Spy," Hilton's dream is interrupted by his daughter Erica, who tells him of her "wedding preparations." Hilton is videotaped while he sleeps in order to record his nocturnal activities in an effort to see why he suffers from sleeplessness, but the videotaped mysteriously disappears.

Investigators summed up the results of their "torrid viewing" by saying, "we haven't found a smoking gun, but we did find plenty of smoke, and, where there's smoke, there's usually fire."

Cosby had been planning to launch yet another sitcom, for geriatrics, but, following the many allegations of sexual assault lodged against him, producers have decided not to reproduce him again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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